Lavender Haze (Actor!Steve Rogers AU)

25

Arizona had thrown herself into dealing with a situation how she knew best.

To write.

The last week she'd been a mixture of emotions, sadness, anger, betrayal. She still didn't know who had leaked the messages, and it made her all the more frustrated.

Phil and Wanda were currently doing what they could. Keeping her from watching any news channels, or looking on the internet. She'd passed her phone over to Phil from the moment they'd left LA, and since arriving in Vermont, the only person who she had contact with was her mother.

There was plenty of land for her to walk on the estate that she owned. To get out of the city and to be surrounded by quiet? It felt refreshing for all the wrong reasons. She would sometimes walk for hours, trying to straighten things out in her head. There was a lake that she'd sit by, notebook to hand, going back to the old school way of writing.

She felt like a naive teenager once more.

Phil and Donna had both told her to stem her emotions into song, to tell her side of the story, or at least some of it through the things that she wrote.

They wouldn't see the light of day though, even though her record label were sticking by her, it was clear her career was done. Phil had said nothing as such yet, but she knew that eventually he would be straight with her as usual.

The sun was out, the sounds of nature surrounding her. It was still amazing to see the sight of deer's roaming and she was beginning to wonder just why she hadn't spent more time here before. She'd brought the home a couple of years back, but had only visited once or twice and that was simply for the purpose of using the studio to record.

Oh well, it looked like she'd be here for the foreseeable now.

Checking her watch, she found that she'd been out for a few hours and should probably get back. She had some content, but because of everything, she found that despite trying to channel it into lyrics, nothing was really coming out.

That was when she knew that she was well and truly burnt out for now. Phil and Wanda had tried to get her to rest her mind, recuperate and use the time to try and enjoy the quiet - but sometimes that could be scary.

The house was quiet when Arizona returned, Phil and Wanda most likely down in their office they had there. She poured herself some juice but was in no mood to eat. Her appetite was just as lost and she felt currently.

"Ah, you're back". Phil said, coming in and now seeing her flop down in a chair by the large fireplace. "You get anything done?"

"Kind of, I think that's it for today though. I just can't think properly".

"You need to rest up, you're not doing yourself any favours by not eating. I spoke to your mom last night, she's coming tomorrow to help out". Now seeing Arizona sigh, "She's worried about you Ari, we both are".

Arizona nodded. "I know, I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up for you both".

Phil looked at her, "You're not a fuck up, far from it. If you were then you wouldn't have the awards you do, the fans that you do, the sales that you have">

"And even then, all of those? They're either dropping it they're gonna be non existent soon enough". She pointed out. "No matter what I said, people are probably still dragging my name through the mud. And I didn't even do anything wrong, not this time at least".

Heading for the kitchen area, Phil called over to her, getting out some things from the fridge and then clattering around. "I'm gonna make you grilled cheese, remember how you always needed brain food like that when you were first away on tour, and you missed your mom?"