𝐼𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝑒𝓎𝑒𝓈. {𝐵.𝐸}

they don't deserve you

-Hello?-

-"Babe! I can't sleep without you! And you never reminded me to drink water today! And on top of all of that you didn't leave any of your fruit snacks at the house so I'm basically starving to death! You have to come home right now or I might actually die!"-

-"Babe you have melatonin gummies for a reason, I shouldn't have to remind you to drink water and you can buy the fruit snacks yourself at the grocery store."-

-"oh so you basically just said you don't love me and you want me to starve to death! Thanks so much!"-

-" Mama's I promise you'll survive without me for a little bit."-

-"nope I'm dying! Actually I'm already dead. You killed me, how do you feel knowing that you just murdered your bestfriend?"-

-" oh my God you can't be serious! I'm hanging up now"- I say rolling my eyes.

-"Wait! Before you do one last thing!"-

-"What?"-

-"can I please have my airfo"-

I hang up before she can finish that sentence.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry Bill!" I say throwing my phone on her end table.

"It's fine! Sounded extremely important anyway."

"She is the most dramatic person ever! Actually all of my friends are, but mainly her..."

"They don't deserve you.." Billie says quietly at almost a whisper.

"What?" I asked super confused by what she meant.

"Hm oh just....Never mind." She says shaking her head.

"Bill you can tell me. I know we haven't talked in a few years but I care about your thoughts and I also care about how you feel, so please just tell me what you meant."

"Its just... I noticed you do a lot for them... Like a lot, I don't know, I could be completely wrong but I feel like you really don't get anything in return. I don't mean that in a bad way I just mean...They don't deserve you.."

"Well if it wasn't for Kit I would have been homeless so-"

"So you feel like you owe her your entire life? For what some protection?You don't even like party's and yet your at them almost every weekend and not even normal house party's, you're at hardcore ragers with hardcore drugs. You don't do drugs and you don't drink alcohol...I mean are you doing..All that for them what have they done for you other than get you in situations where you could literally die?"

"How do you know all of that?"

"It wasn't hard to find out your in almost every Instagram post of Kit's.."

"Oh so you do some online stalking and now you've got the past two years of my life figured out? Got it..."

"No it's not like that Alice.."

"Please don't call me that!" I say with both of my hands up raising my voice a bit by accident. Tears start streaming down my face but I'm trying I'm best to seem strong..

"Oh shit I'm so sorry I didn't know... I-"

"No it's- it's fine I didn't mean to raise my voice. I'm so sorry." I say wiping my tears.

"It's okay I didn't mean to set you off...Can I hug you?"

"Yeah." I say sniffling

Billie pulls me closer to her and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I just.. I don't want to see you get hurt by these people who keep putting you in horrible situations.." I hear Billie sniffle

"I know..But that's just how me and Kit work. She says some stupid stuff to get us into trouble and I get us out of it. We have been that way ever since I met her."

"So i assume you've been talking to Erick again then?"

"Yeah- but it's not like it was I'm not doing anything for him I swear.."

"Allison you are going to get killed on the streets if you don't stop this... Were you dealing for her? Your mom?"

"No..."

...Four years ago I started to deal drugs on the street for Erick. I was one of his best dealers...That was until Billie's mom found out, and of course she told Billie and well..Billie said I couldn't be on the streets and be friends with her..Which I mean it was fair so I stopped dealing. I never did drugs. I've never tried drugs. Same for alcohol.

"I'm trusting you Allison."

"I know..Thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving my life...I mean if I were still on the streets I would probably be dead..So thanks"

"That's what friends are for.." Billie says with a smile.

"Are you mad at me?" I say quietly.

"Why on earth would I be mad at you" she giggles a little and kisses the top of my head

"I don't know i just want to make sure your not mad.."

"No I'm not, I'm just trying to get to know you again.."

"I know..Sorry I'm so fucked up.."

"Don't ever apologize for things that are out of your control..But I do have a question."

I hum in response.

"Why haven't you moved out? I mean you are 18 now..Your graduating soon it's like the perfect time to move out."

"You know why Billie..You know I can't live alone it's too scary..I'd rather be homeless as sad as that sounds.."

"Mmm yeah..That does sound really sad." Billie yawns

"Well God I apologize for being so boring."

She laughs "Shush you're not boring I'm just tired."

"Well so much for that scary movie."

"Rain check?" Billie asks.

"Sure." I laugh laying down next to her and falling asleep.

-