I looked out across the ocean, reminding myself that everything was going to be okay. That Justin would come to his senses and everything would be fine. Maybe if he'd just trust himself enough to believe that his mom was going to be fine. I knew that he wouldn't believe it until he saw her awake and talking. I couldn't get over the fact that I knew she was going to be fine. She wasn't his dad. She'd never leave him. Maybe that's what kept me going, maybe that's why I still had hope.
People say that time heals all wounds. I'm not sure if it's true, but Justin's going to need a lot of time to come back to his normal self again. Even when he's mom wakes up, he's still not going to be himself. It's going to take some time, but I know he's strong enough to get through it. He's always been the strongest person I know, no matter what's happened he was always strong enough to get through it. I've always turned to him when things went wrong and he's always been there to pick up and reassure me that everything was going to be fine.
Now it was my turn.
I had to let Justin know I was there for him. I didn't care if he tried to push me away. He doesn't want me to know how much pain he's in. He needs to be whether he knows it or not.
I struck my feet further into the sand, letting the feel of it wash away all of my thoughts. I closed my eyes and felt the wind blow through my hair, slowly relaxing me and making me feel as if nothing was wrong. As if everyone that I loved wasn't in pain anymore.
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I knew what I had to do.
I walked back to my house which was right up to the street and jumped in my car. I was going to see him. I knew he'd probably do the same thing he did to me 2 days ago, but I wasn't going to walk away this time.
I pulled out of my driveway and pulled into the dark street ahead of me. It was almost 10pm, but I didn't care.
I made my way through the buzz of the streets until I finally reached the hospital. I got out of my car and made my way to the entrance. I walked inside and went to her room.
I knocked on the door and waited for him to answer it.
But he didn't answer.
I turned the knob and found it unlocked, surprisingly. I walked in and turned the corner.
Justin was sitting in a chair by his mom's bed, holding her hand. His head was down and he wasn't aware I was here.
I swallowed hard and watched him. I wanted to take his pain away. I hated seeing him like this. I hated the fact that he was hurting. It shouldn't be like that. He should be a normal teenager, with no worries. But he could be. I knew that.
"Justin?" I asked softly.
His head shot up and he narrowed his eyes, glaring at me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in a sharp tone.
"You can't shut me out. You have to talk to me." I told him, ignoring the glares he was giving off.
"No. I don't. I told you I didn't want you here." He said, getting up and coming over to me.
"I'm not buying it. I know that-"
"Oh, you know? You know what I'm going through? Really? Because I seem to recall your mom being absolutely fine!"
I flinched at the words that exploded out of his mouth.
"Justin-"
"Or maybe your talking about when your dad died." He started raising his eyebrow.
I clenched my fist. He knew that was a touchy subject, he knew that I hated talking about it.
"Look, I know you're going through a lot right now, but that doesn't give you the right to hurt others around you!" I said, walking closer to him so that I was an inch away from him.
"Hurting those around me?" He asked.
"Dammit Justin! Why do you keep telling me that you love me, if you're just going to turn around and shut me out of your life?" I asked, pushing the lump out of my throat.
"Lil..." he whispered.
"No! You don't get to tell me you love me; if you don't mean it Justin!" I cried, the words exploding from my mouth.
"I do love you! I just... I can't..." he whispered and turned away from me.
"No Justin, talk to me." I whispered, coming up from behind and wrapping my arms around him.
"I can't lose her." He said; his voice cracking.
I'd never once seen Justin cry, but I knew he was going to break down at one point.
"Justin, look at me." I said, pulling his chin around to face me.
He looked at me, the tears rolling down his face.
"I can't-"
"You won't. She loves you Justin. She's not going to give up. Don't give up on her. She's strong and I know she can make it through this. So can you, you just have to keep believing that everything's going to be fine." I told him.
His whole body was shaking. He was sobbing and shaking. I reached up and wiped off his tears off of his face. I held him until his sobs subsided. I looked down and found him asleep. I sighed and leaned my head back against the couch.
This was all so frustrating. I didn't want him to be like this and no matter how much I tried to reassure him, he wasn't going to trust me until she woke up.
I looked over at his mom and studied her. Her breathing was normal, her cheeks were a slight shade of pink and she looked the same.
I frowned. No. There was something different, there was something I was missing but what was it? I looked closely at her and then my eyes widened.
The tube that was in her throat wasn't there anymore, so wasn't that a sign that she was getting better?
I sighed and shook my head.
I moved out of Justin's grasp and he lay back, stretching out on the couch. I yawned and got up. It was best to leave now; I only got at least a couple of hours sleep.
I walked over to the door and put my hand on the knob.
"No stay." Justin whispered to me.
I turned towards him. "Okay."
I walked towards him and lay down beside him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled into him and laid my head on his chest.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." I whispered back.
I yawned and closed my eyes. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
