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CHAPTER 10 < what's my worth? > • no episode • __________________
Flashbacks
It had been 3 years since I'd ran away from home, leaving all of my shit behind me without a second glance. After I had left, a bunch more shit announced itself, I was alone for a year, 17 years old begging for money even blowing a few guys on multiple occasions just for a small amount of cash. I wasn't proud of what my life had become, I was just desperate, desperate to get away. I knew i had to save my money for necessities like food, clean water, clothes and renting apartments but the drugs just helped way more.
I left the only friend I had behind, he was several years older than me but he treated me as though I was his own blood, he taught me how to defend myself a little better.. claiming I needed to know how to protect and stand up for myself in this fucked up world, in any situation I found myself in.
I opened my heart up to him, telling him about all of my shitty problems, mostly about the man who was supposed to be my father.
But he never once judged me, he only listened to me, comforted me, helped me, taught me, protected me, cared for me, loved me and I just left.. without any warning, without a goodbye, without anything.
That was all on me. It was all my fault.
All because I felt sorry for myself, and was incapable of just waiting one more year, one more year and i'd finally be free, legally.
But no I had to fuck it all up as per usual.
By the time I had turned 18, I was a total addict, my body was the only way I could make a living, the only way I could get my drugs. And god forbid I ever tried to live without them.
That was until I met her.. Josephine, she was an young woman, her life had thrown challenge after challenge at her just as mine did to me. She had short dirty blonde hair, that complimented her eyes, and her eyes were so beautiful resembling two beautiful pools of sweet honey. When I met Jo, she was only 17, she had ran away, she confided in me, confessing how she too had been abused for many years and was now homeless, alone and pregnant.
I didn't tell her my story, only that I had a shitty childhood, but adulthood didn't seem to be much of a charmer either.
I tried to remind myself to trust no one but yourself.. the phrase that my only friend had taught me but there was something different about Josephine.
Jo was scared, she was alone, with no friends, no family, no money.. nothing. And she had a baby on the way.
