Me and that's it

Broken mirror

It's great to have those better days, when all the frustration disappears and all what you can do is to live, be nice to people around you and in the first place, be nicer to yourself. Somewhere inside me, I still feel those doubts, it is like a part of yourself which you think, will never leave you alone. It's like standing in the room without windows only with your biggest foe,but he was tired, so he fell asleep. You know that one day, one hour, minute, he's gonna be awake again. But now, you still have time to think clearly and prepare yourself for the upcoming challenges. Nothing lasts forever in life. And that's at some point good, actually very good, because no one would like to be suffering forever and if we had no bad days, our muscles on the face would have started to be sore from all those positive facial expressions that we'd at the end be suffering as well and also be bored.

I haven't met that many people in my life, but some of them has moved me forward, some of them were doing their best when I hit the bottom and some of them have just appeared in my life for a while, have changed nothing and then disappeared, that simple it is. Once, when I ran away from all stress and have locked myself up far away from all those thoughts, family quarrels etc., I was totally lost, not knowing what to do in my life and in my situation when I couldn't handle myself. I came out with what I have done. I was convinced that I must me a horrible person, because, else, I wouldn't had done this to my parents. The reaction to all this was, "You aren't a horrible person, you are a nice girl with dreams and the nice things, they are just waiting for you." It hasn't changed much, but somehow, I stood up and went home. I think that all of us sometimes fall, important is to stand up, and we know it's hard, but all those awesome things can only happen in the future, not in the past. We still have space to create, to dream, and to live. Isn't this, what's important? We are people, we are struggling, but what's beautiful is that we can laugh, love, we can shine, sometimes alone, sometimes together, but important is, that we do something for it.

Being in the darkness, hitting the ground, no will to stand up. The World is losing it's colors, the sun isn't rising and there are no stars in the night sky. An idea appears in your head. You know that you can change this, it's your decision if you are gonna go through hell with a smile or not. You look into the mirror to find out, what's left from you. I see short hair, face without smile, baggy clothes and big brown eyes red from crying. In this moment, I hear something cracking, the mirror is breaking and my own reflection's hand is pushing me to the ground. I can't stand up, because I blindly believe myself. My reflection is insane, it's the reflection of my thoughts. Broken mirrors bring bad luck. But this time, I am the broken mirror, we are reflections of our thoughts. We are mirrors.

I ran away from my imagination, get back to the reality and start crying again. I don't want this and I finally know, this is all about me, it's about self-discipline, self-love and in the first place about the decision to change something.

That's it, the World is still here, we are here, so let's have a little bit fun and play with ourselves a lifelong game, I am gonna defeat my yesterday's version. At the end, I am gonna be the best, not the best from all those people around me, but the best version of myself.