Me and that's it

Languages of life

The sun has already risen today and I am sitting in the class, waiting for something exciting, new or whatever to happen. Being partially ignored by my classmates, only visible when they don't have their homework, need help with German language or forgot what tests we write in current week. That's my life at some point. I am trying to be nice, to listen to people, to be confident and look like I have things under control. But all I do is fail in all of this. I love to see that many things are better, that life maybe makes sense, that I am at least tiny little bit smart. Life smart.

The school is over and I am very excited. Not due to the fact that I've been mostly ignored today, but because of meeting, with random people who speak German, in local library. I am kind of nerd, that's what I am said, but I prefer word curious. I want to understand things, I want to know things, but I am still somehow stuck. I am sure that there is also one thing, which makes me very happy. And that's meeting new people. It's super exciting to talk about many things and get to know different perspectives. And I had luck I guess, because I've met a very interesting person two months ago at the German Olympics. She is friendly, and it's just nice to know more people around you. So I've spent my afternoon learning foreign language with people who are  different age. It was fun, and now I am on my way home. Walking in the darkness makes me finally feel confident, it makes me feel sure that I am still worth to live. I can't see many things, but my inner voice is stronger that the quiet city around me. It's a pity that I am unable to identify the language which is my inner voice using to communicate with me. I am doing my best to understand, but then an idea comes to my mind. Let's listen to music. It's a quite long walk so I do it and my thoughts finally stop shouting. Everything is better and I can walk around as in a movie and pretend that I am the main character. Actually, I am, this is my story, my movie and I am acting very poorly in this moment.