Dear Tommy,
I miss you too.
My heart also breaks, but for a different reason.
Every time you burn a letter, and bring its ashes to my grave, I get them. I get an envelope addressed to me, outside my door. They're your letters. I've got four now, you only recently started writing to me. They keep me going.
What breaks my heart is that you'll never know I got them.
You're right, I do hate you. Please, stop hurting yourself, I knew from the start that you have more hope than me. Don't hurt yourself because of me. Please, Tommy. Please. I'm begging you. If I could stop you, I would. I try, believe me, I try. I talk to you. Being dead has its pros. It sounds creepy, but I watch you, every day. Now that I think about it, you wouldn't think that's creepy.
You're hugging my pillow right now, as I write my letter to the broken boy I love so much. (That's you by the way). I can see the tears very clearly, I'm sitting right next to you. You're whispering my name. I'm whispering yours. Try talking to me, I'll always answer.
Many days, I'd watch you. The longest I've spent is four days before they dragged me back to heaven. They drag me roughly, it hurts when they do. Apparently, hell is for the damned souls, who have eternity to pay for. Heaven is for anybody else. But me? Oh, Tommy. You'd be proud to know that placing me was a hard decision, I caused arguments everywhere. "He took his own life, send him to hell!" All that shit.
I find it rather amusing. They put me in heaven in the end, but I'm not treated as kindly. I honestly don't care.
I hugged you.
I wiped your tears as best as I could
And I played with your hair.
My fingers slip right through.
It's my soul that watches you, my body's slowly rotting.
I'm right here.
You don't know I'm here.
You looked at me.
Correction, you looked through me.
You don't know I'm here.
When you sleep, I sit and watch over you.
When you cry, I cry with you.
You're not alone but
You don't know I'm here.
I placed a hand on your shoulder,
Before I had to go.
You got shivers down your spine,
I hope you know I'm here.
You don't know I'm here.
I love you with all my heart,
Newt
I think I was depressed. I wrote this on Thomas Brodie sangsters birthday actually haha
YOU ARE READING
Newtmas Oneshots ^~^
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