Winters Torture

Part 19

Bucky was off training for the next few hours, leaving Emma to roam the building. Wanda told her to take the night off and they'd get together first thing in the morning. Reading minds and blocking others from getting in your head can exhaust your body. Emma found herself entering Bruce's lab. She stood at the door watching Bruce and Tony fiddle around on their computers.

"Hey." She spoke up to get their attention.

They both turned around, but it was Bruce that spoke first, "How are you, Emma?"

"I'm fine. I wanted to tell you both how sorry I am that I ruined the party."

Tony smiled at her, "It's fine, Emma. We can always have another one."

Bruce got up and walked over to Emma as she leaned against the doorway, "What's going on, Emma? Do you feel okay?"

"Physically, I feel fine. Mentally, I'm not sure."

Bruce smiled at her, "I know what that's like. How about you try talking to Sam. He's so good at listening. Last I saw him, he was watching a movie in the screening room."

"Thanks. I'll go find him." Emma hopped on the elevator and directed it to take her to the floor Sam was on.

"Sam?" She said as she walked down the hallway. This place still confuses me. She saw Sam step out of the room towards the end of the hallway, "Hey. There you are."

"What's going on sunshine?"

Emma stood in front of Sam and looked up at him, "That's the problem, Sam. I don't feel much like sunshine. I feel more like a rainy day with a slow rumble of thunder on the horizon."

"Okay. Let me turn off the movie and we'll chat."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I can come back another time."

"Emma, it's fine. I've seen the movie a million times. Come on. Sit. Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Sam. How do I do this? I feel like I don't who I am. I feel lost." Emma started to cry and Sam hugged her.

"You're going to have to figure out who you want to be Emma. You've been under someone's control almost your entire life." Sam let her go and she wiped away her tears with her sleeve.

"Sam. At this point, I don't even know how old I am. I'm a ghost."

"Emma. You aren't a ghost anymore. I'm sure Bruce has some test or gadget that could tell you how old you are. And if he doesn't, you get to pick your age. You control who you are now."

"I'm still having nightmares. Don't tell Bucky. He sleeps like a rock so he misses the little ones when I'm not swinging into the air or screaming."

"Tell me about them, Emma."

She stood up and rubbed her hands through her hair, "I don't know if I can, Sam."

He stood up and left some room between them, "Look at me, Emma. Nothing you say, can hurt you. Those dreams won't come to life just because you talk about them. I know their scary, but let's talk them out. Maybe, it will help."

Emma closed her eyes, "Sam. Put your hands on my shoulders."

"What?"

She opened her eyes, "I'm going to show you, my dreams. It's this ability I have. Thanks to Hydra, I guess."

"Does Bucky know you can do that?"

Emma laughed, "Yeah. Wanda and I were doing some training today Bucky was there. She taught me a bunch of things. I'm pretty good at this one."

"Okay. Well, show me then."

"Close your eyes and keep your hands on my shoulders. If you let go, you'll break the connection."

"Okay. Ready." Sam shook his head. He was getting ready for what he was about to see.

Emma took Sam into her dreams. He saw how Emma's dreams were of being tortured by Hydra. He can see the cell she got locked away in while she was a child. Her dreams dance from one torture chamber to the next. Sam saw enough and broke the connection.

He stared at Emma for a moment as he took in everything he saw, "Emma. Are those dreams? Or are they memories?"

"Memories. They play repeat in my mind. Depending on what my brain choose to recall, depicts how bad my nightmare will be. Some of my nightmares are of me being alone in a cell. Some of my nightmares are from when they strapped me up, cut me up, hit me, beat me till I complied, but I never complied. The beatings became a regular thing."

"Emma. I can't take those memories away. However, we can work on coming to terms with your past. Building new, kinder memories."

"Thank you, Sam. I'll try anything to make these nightmares go away."

"How about tomorrow you come by when you're done training with Wanda. We can start talking then about everything and anything."

"Thank you, Sam. I really hope this helps."

"Me too. I want you to start thinking about who you are. Think about who you want to be. We'll talk about that tomorrow too."

Emma gave him a big hug and heard a familiar voice butt in, "Hey, Doll."

"Bucky!" Emma was so happy to see him. "Sam here is willing to work with me and help me through some stuff. We start tomorrow."

"That sounds great." Bucky smiled at Sam. "Thanks, man."

They shook hands and Emma grabbed Bucky's arm, "How was training?"

"It was good. I like training at night. It's quieter."

Sam watched them talk to each other, "Hey. Time for me to get back to my movie. You two go have some fun."

"Thanks again, Sam. I'll see you tomorrow." Emma grabbed Bucky's hand and they walked off to the elevator together.

They both walked into Bucky's room and Emma crawled into his bed. He walked over and kissed her head, "I'll be back soon. I need to shower."

"I'll be right here. Waiting for my super soldier to return."

He kissed her again and took off to the bathroom. Emma laid there watching the clock tick as she thought about what Sam said to her. She needs to figure out who she is now. Not when Hydra or the Red Room had her.

Emma was so focused on her thoughts that she didn't even realize Bucky slipped into bed behind her. She felt his metal arm slip under her and his flesh arm wrap around her waist.

"Sweetheart. Are you okay?" Bucky kissed the back of her neck.

"I don't know. Sam told me I had to figure out who I am and who I want to be. I've always been controlled. From when I was little. My life was never mine. Holding onto these memories of who I was, makes seeing who I am really hard."

"You can be whoever you want to be. Maybe a painter. A chef. A full time Avenger. Oh I know, how about a magician at a kids party."

Emma elbowed Bucky as she laughed, "Be real. I can't paint."

They both laughed at her joke. Bucky finally stopped laughing and asked her, "Who do you want to be?"

"I'm not sure. What I do know, is that whatever I decide, I want you to be by my side. I can't see a future without you, Bucky."

"That's good, Doll. Because I can't see one without you either."