Pain behind those grey eyes

12.Sacrifice

"I don't want to...I have to...for my son."

.

.

Smith finally intervenes in his emotionless voice, after deciding that he had enough of being silent. His cold tone immediately told me how much he's not happy with this absurd idea of marrying me for his son. Well, I'm not fucking esctatic about this either.

Sam likes me and feels comfortable with me doesn't mean that I've to marry Smith for this.

This doesn't makes sense..at all.

"Means you are getting f-forced in this as well?" I asked looking into his grey eyes.

"No-one can fucking force me to do shit Sia...I will do this for my son. You don't have to...if you don't want to..."

"Sia dear...listen to me." Mrs parker said and we both looked at her waiting for her to speak.

"Dear...Sam is just a 3 year old kid and really needs a mother figure in his life. He rarely talks with someone...he doesn't  even with me. Before you, he just speaks to his father but now, he not just talks with you, he also laughs with you and Sam look genuinely happy with you. I've never seen him this happy....after her." Mrs parker was now looking at me with her tear filled eyes, desperation was clear in her voice.

"Sia...I'm not going to force you dear...but Sam really needs a mother figure in his life and I am confident that you would be great mother to him." My mom said and gave me tight-lipped smile. It's good that my family is not forcing me in this arrangement but still the way Mrs parker is requesting me, is really making it so fucking difficult for me to say 'no' to her. Ofcourse I can't marry Smith just because Sam likes me.

And what about Smith?

He fucking hate my guts.

What does she wants me to do, to sacrifice myself and my life in a loveless marriage just because of Sam...

But what about Sam?

I love him for sure and I know he really needs a mother in his life and I want him to see happy too but Smith is only marrying me for the sake of his son and I don't want to be a burden in his life. I don't want to have any contact with him after that rejection and humiliation I received from him.

Call me childish for still sticking up to the past incidents.

I was still in my daydreaming, when I heard clearing of throat beside me. It was Aiden. "May I talk to Sia...in private?" Aiden asked to no one in particular.

"Go ahead son..." my mom said.

I stood up from my place and he stood up as well. I can feel Smith's heavy gaze on my back but I ignored and went ahead to the guest room beside the living room. Aiden opened the door and we went inside. We finally settled on the bed and I looked at him with questioning gaze.

He sighed, opened his mouth and closed it and then looked at me again nervously.

"What? just say it."

"You know...I love you right?" He blurted out.

"Y-Yeah..." He smiled at my reply and took my right hand in his hands and then looked at me with a slight smile still on his face. "I wanted to share something with you and give you a little advice as well...but you've to promise me, that you'll not speak until I'm finished. Okay?"

"Alright..." I nodded and gestured for him to continue. He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and looked down at our hands. He's looking quite nervous actually and it's amusing to me.

"Well..you know how Smith's mom wants you to marry his son because Sam needs you and his father needs to move on as well..but actually...I kinda want you to marry Smith too-"

I opened my big mouth to interrupt instantly but shut my mouth again when he gave me a stern look. "let me finish kiddo..."

"Just answer my one question...do you really think that I want you to marry...like any other guy?" I instantly shook my head in 'no' because I know he really cares for me and would never ever want that for me.

"Smith is a good guy Sia, trustworthy, mature, decent and...loyal. You knew how me and dad were so over protective over you, but I personally have always trusted Smith around you unlike my other friends. I was a fucking player back then in highschool, but he wasn't. My baby sister was off-limits for all of my friends, but never for him because I know that he genuinely deserves a nice beautiful girl like you and you deserve a kind, gentleman like him. Do you think I don't know the hanky-panky business you both had?"

What the fuck?

I blushed this time because I used to think that no one knows about us. Aiden chuckled at my reaction.

"It's okay kiddo...but I don't know what shit happened between you guys for you to hate him now. He didn't deserve this Sia, he is hurting. I know he would never share his feelings with anyone not even with me but like Sam he also needs somebody to fill the void in his life. He needs to move on for his son, his family and for...himself. He thinks that he loves Beverly but he's wrong. It's not fucking love, he's just stuck up in the past. He needs to let her go...that's why he needs you Sia and I think you should give him another chance too, he has so much love to give but he is all alone. But he is worth it, Sam is worth it..." He finished and looked at me finally. I can see it in his eyes, he really cares for his best friend.

I sighed and looked down again. "Think a while about this Sia... I am going...come to the living room when you have decided." He stood up, kissed my forehead and went outside leaving me alone with my thoughts.

There is no doubt Smith is a good guy and would be great husband as well but after what happened 4 years ago... I don't think I'm ready to marry him for another humiliation when I very well know that he doesn't like me and still loves his ex wife.

But he has so much love to give.

So, where do I stand in this marriage?

Is it really worth it?

Is sacrificing my life for Smith and Sam is worth it?

.

.

.

I don't fucking know about Smith but for Sam, I very well knew that's he is worth it.

Author's note:

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