Pain behind those grey eyes

13.Decision

I was outside the living room currently, nervously fidgeting with the bracelet in my left hand. I've decided my answer and it's time to tell everyone about this. This small word is going to change my life forever.

Okay... let's do this!

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I opened the door and went inside. They all were chatting but suddenly stopped when I entered and now everyone is looking at me even Gia is also here.

Well.. this is awkward.

I cleared my throat to get the attention. But I don't fucking know why I did this because I am the centre of attention already.

Fuck! It feels like I'm telling my college result or something.

"I've decided....I'm ready to marry Smith." I said looking towards Mrs Parker and then at Aiden. She rushed towards me and immediately pulled me into a tight hug. After some seconds, she pulled away and kissed my forehead and looked at me with her tear filled eyes.

"I'm so so so happy with your decision Sia... thank you so much sweetheart." She said and patted my head. Mom came behind her and hugged me too. "You sure dear?" She asked me and I nodded."I'm so proud of you Sia"

Behind her, Aiden and Gia came and hugged me. He lifted me in air and twirled me around. "Thank you so much kiddo" Aiden said when he finally put me down. Mr Parker congrulated me as well.

But my papa was still sitting on the couch just looking at me with a smile. I'm surprised that he was silently sitting all this whole time. He was silent even at the time of the 'talk'. Is he mad at me for taking this decision?

"What happened dad? Are you not going to say anything?" I couldn't keep it anymore and asked him in a soft voice mostly because I'm scared of his reaction. He shook his head with a smile, stood up and came infront of me and then pulled me into a bear hug.

"I'm not gonna say anything princess because I know my daughter is wise enough to take all the decisions of her own....and I'm proud of you." We finally pulled apart and he patted my back. "Don't ever forget...your mom and dad are always with you Sia."

But our dad-daughter sweet little emotional moment was interfered by a clearing of throat and I know who he is. I looked at him standing infront of me, as usual emotionless with a poker face on. I can smell his cologne from here, giving me a deja fu feeling. Once, I used to love this and I think I still do. The feelings I have for him is too strong to just let go of them. That's why I used to try me best to stay the fuck away from him... keyword 'try'.

But look how fate has brought us together again.

Everyone looked at him when he came towards me and stood up infront of me with his 6'2" height compared to my 5'3".

"Are you sure about this?" He asked and raised his perfect right eyebrow at me. I nodded looking into his grey eyes. I want him to see in my eyes, that I'm confident about this and I'm not going to back off.

"You know that I'm doing this only for Sam...are you still sure about this?" He asked me again in a cold voice and took a threatening step towards me. This shook my confidence a little but I know I have to do this and I'll do this for my Sam.

Sam deserves a mother.

He deserves every happiness in this world.

I chanted this line as a mantra in my mind to constantly remind myself that why I'm doing this. "Well..I know that and I'm still ready." I replied back looking straight in his eyes.

"Fine then..we'll have a civil marriage this weekend."

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WHAT THE FUCK?

A fucking civil marriage?

Why not a real fucking wedding?

"W-What?" I muttered in a low voice.

"Why Smith? What happened?" Mrs Parker asked hysterically. Smith first looked at her and then towards me in a very calm way.  His calm composure is really getting on my nerves now.

"I was only ready to marry mama, but I don't want a big ass wedding...I'm a very private man." He shrugged casually.

"But you never had problems when you had 'big wedding' last time. What happened to your fucking privacy then." I blurted out before I could stop myself and Aiden gasped beside me. But, I really don't fucking understand him. If we have already decided to do this then why not do it in a right way? Why a civil marriage?

He looked really shocked at my reply and just for a nano second a little hurt also. But he quickly masked it with his no expressions look....Well, now I really regret saying it. That was so mean.

"I'm sor-

"People change with time, preferences change with people and the preferences change with you, so time changes you...Sia..." Smith interrupted me and then went back to sit at the couch again leaving me standing there.

"I'm telling you again and again...you don't have to marry me if you don't want to." He shrugged in a mocking way and I know he's just doing this because he wants me to back off. He doesn't want to move on not even for his son. That's so fucking selfish of him.

Well! I know what I have to do.

I went to the couch where he's sitting and stood infront of him. I looked into his grey eyes that I love. They were full of grief and longingness. He could be able to fool anyone but not me, never me. I admired his eyes more than anything in this fucking world and I understand him.

I understand the pain behind those grey eyes.

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"It's fine then, we'll have a civil marriage...this weekend." I said in final tone.

Author's note:

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