"N-No... don't stop. Don't fucking stop." I replied and hugged him tightly, my voice thick with desperation and longing for him but I don't fucking care now. "I want this and I want you....Now."
"I-I....I can't do this to you but. It would be...just...
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Sorry for the late update. I was kinda busy with some of my personal problems.
"I have feelings for you Smith."
"Remember the rules we made? We agreed that If any of us catch feelings, they are free to take a break and move on."
"Well...I'm taking my break now."
"Well...I'm taking my break now."
"Well...I'm taking my break now."
"Well...I'm taking my break now."
Her words were echoing in my mind since the very next second they left her mouth.
I drove towards my home with a heavy heart and hands itching to touch her smooth skin. I couldn't even hug her because she needed a break from me and I didn't want to complicate her feelings more. But what about my feelings?
She always had this in her, a fucking magnet or something like that, that pulls me towards her. My self control is negligible when it comes to her. It always like this, since childhood. She very well knows how to make me a lovesick teenager behind her. I remember in school, how I used to get jealous even when a guy is simply talking with her. Because I knew. I fucking knew how easy it is for those guys to fall in love with such a beautiful soul. Every guy wants a loving and caring girl and my Alysia has everything. Every fucking thing which a guy needs and desires.
It isn't that I don't trust her, it's about the guys around her which I don't trust. And now, when she isn't with me and hell knows when she'll forgive me, I'm realising her worth. Her place and worth in my life and maybe...maybe in my heart too, but I'm still too proud to even admit it out loud.
I never realised when she became so important for me that every fucking thought of mine is consumed by her.
Fuck. This is getting ridiculous.
She just said that she needed a break according to the rules we agreed upon but why am I feeling like I am dying inside?
Why did her words of taking a break feel like a knife in my heart? Why?
Wasn't I living without her before our marriage, then what's changed now?
Why this restlessness in my heart?
I sighed and turned on the radio to distract myself from these thoughts. I reached my home, parked my car, opened the door and met with an eerie silence. Well...wasn't this what I wanted? I wanted her to leave me alone, not to care about me, not to interfere in my business and sometimes not even talk with me and now when I got all those things, I'm still not satisfied.
Looking around, my gaze went to the couch in the living room and a beautiful memory of our very first kiss flashed in my mind. This is the same place, where I kissed her for the first time and finally achieved my once old teenage fantasy. Her beautiful face after the kiss made me smile, pink flushed cheeks, swollen lips and oceanic blue eyes in which I want to drown myself.
