The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Five

      Can had been sitting there for what seemed like hours, just watching his dad sleep. The news from the doctor was very guarded, not giving them much hope. But Can wasn't ready to give up on his dad just yet. 

      He remembered back when he was a small boy and his mother had decided to end the marriage to his dad over a silly rumor. Now he understood what had happened, but back then only thing that made sense was the fact that his mother was leaving and taking his little brother. 

      His dad refused to let her take Can. He recalled the night that the taxi pulled up in front of their home to take them away. As hard as he had tried to forget that night over the years, it still lived so vividly in his mind. The confusion, the hurt, the guilt that he felt that night was something he would never forget.

      Twenty eight years of feeling abandoned and unwanted by his mom was the reason he had shunned any kind of serious relationship with a woman. That is, until he found Sanem....

      And there it was,....another reason to let his mind wander from what was going on with his dad, to thinking about the most important person that had ever entered his life. He shut his eyes  hoping to let the thoughts of her pass, but he knew that wasn't going to happen.

      This place was nothing but a constant reminder of the happiest time in his life gone bad. And the worse thing about it was, he had caused all of it himself. 

      The touch of someone's hand on his brought Can's eyes open, " My son you made it. I'm so glad to see you." His dad uttered in a weak and trembling voice. A faint smile crossed his face as he closed his eyes again.

     Can jumped up, " Dad....dad, don't go back to sleep. Talk to me for a minute." Can begged, as he stroked this dads thin, frail hand. " I'm here. I promise I won't go anywhere. Just talk to me." He said.

      Emre walked in just as Can was pleading with his dad to stay awake, "Abi, did dad wake up?" He asked excitedl.  Can nodded, " Yes, just for a second. He told me he was glad I made it. Emre I don't think he wants to fight this" Can replied as he felt the tears trickle down his face. 

      Can and Emre agreed to stay with him throughout the night. The doctor came back by in the late afternoon to check on Aziz, " Boys there's not much more we can do for him, unless he's willing to fight. We will make him comfortable and you two stay by his side. That's all he wants." 

      Can was in desperate need of a strong cup of Turkish tea, so he left Emre with his dad while he made a trip to the cafeteria. He was distracted with the thoughts of his dad and what the doctor had just told them as he waited for the elevator. 

      The nurses station was busy with doctors and nurses rushing about preparing for the shift change. They were giving their orders to the evening staff, " Make sure you keep a close eye on Mr. Divit in 406, make him comfortable." He heard one of the nurses say as he stepped into the elevator. The thought of what that meant made his heart ache, make him comfortable, comfortable for the end....

      He ordered his tea and a roll, and ordered the same for Emre. His body was reminding him that he hadn't eaten since the day before. He didn't want to leave Emre alone for to long so he took his food and started back to his dads room, still in a daze. This was quickly turning into the worse day of his life.

      He paused at the door of the room, taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to reason with his heart. "This is the nature of things, this is how life is. You are born, you live the days you are given with dignity and love,...and then you leave. He knew all of that in his head, but his heart was breaking, knowing that this was the end for his dad.

      The two brothers sat together drinking their tea and nibbling on the roll. Watching and waiting for their dad to wake up. Neither one wanting to admit to the other just how scared they were. The talked about the agency and the new clients, Can asked about Deren, how she was doing. When the conversation got around to CeyCey, Can's whole body soften. " How is CeyCey Emre. I have missed him more than anyone else." Can asked as tears formed in his eyes.

      " Well CeyCey is the same. Just as unpredictable as ever and I know that he misses you too. He will be glad to see you." Emre replied, knowing the special relationship that the two had. 

       The next question was on the tip of his tongue, but he was afraid to let the words come out.  But he wanted so badly to know about her. " Emre, do you ever hear anything about Sanem, I mean does CeyCey tell you anything about her. How she's doing, is she still in Galápagos Islands? Can asked, as he felt his heart ache at just speaking her name.

      Emre smiled, " So,...you're still carrying a torch for her. I only know some little things that I've heard from CeyCey and Leila. She is still in the Islands, and doing quite well I hear. Her writing is going well, Oh,...you did know she published her first book and it made her very popular, right."

      Can shook his head, " Yes, I did." He said, hanging his head. " I was hoping you would know something else about her. Like,.. is she married, does she have someone in her life,....Is she happy.." Cans voice was trembling as he asked the questions, but these were the things that had he had to know.

      Emre took a deep breath and exhaled with force, " Abi, you still want to know about her. You left her. You walked away from HER...She was a basket case for months. I can't tell you number of days that she sat in your office in the dark just waiting on you to call. She called you so many times without an answer, ....until she finally gave up." Emre blurted out at him, still angry at how  his brother had handled the whole thing.

      Can covered his face with his hands, ashamed of the things he had done. " I know Emre, I know. But I was hurt also......did you ever think of that? She was the one person that I thought I could trust." He stood quickly and walked across the room to the window. " Ok, never mind. Just forget I asked about her." He snapped at Emre.

      Aziz coughed, making both the brothers jump to his bedside, " Dad are you ok. Do you need some water." Emre asked, reaching for the glass. 

      His dad opened his eyes, " No, no water. Just need to give you some advice." He whispered.     " If she is still in your heart,....if she is still in your mind,.....and you do nothing, then one day you will be lying just as I am now regretting the life you lived." Aziz mumbled, reaching for Cans hand.

      " It's never too late, not if you're in love with the right person".........He said.