The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Fifteen

      Returning to Istanbul would open up his heart again to all those feelings, to all the happiness that he had found there with her. He had known that from the minute he knew he would have to come home for his dad. What had surprised him more than anything was just how deeply those feelings still ran in his heart.

      He felt as if this strong current of water was pulling him down, down deeper and deeper in the memory of how much he loved her. It was consuming him, to the point of begging his friend for any news about her. 

      " I know that you think I don't deserve to know anything about her." Can spoke, shifting his body nervously as he waited for the answer. CeyCey took a minute before he answered, " Can I guess I don't understand your meaning of love. I had a hard time when you left too. For months I stayed positive, I spent all my time with Sanem, even after she left the agency." He explained, feeling a strange bravery inside him to reveal his true feelings to his friend.

      There was a long silence. Can had no words to say in his defense, so he waited for CeyCey to continue. " Sanem wanted to fall apart completely, she couldn't understand why YOU didn't understand why she sold her perfume. " He spoke. Can hung his head in silence, as he listened.

      CeyCey wanted to be angry, he wanted to tell his friend that he had lost that privilege of knowing anything at all about Sanem, but his heart would not let him. After a few minutes CeyCey continued, " I wanted to believe you were coming back, so I made her believe it too. Which I think hurt her more in the end. Can, it took her a year to get herself together." CeyCey spoke as he turned to look at Can.

      " What I'm saying is, Sanem and myself both had to realize that you were not coming back. It wasn't until then that she began to come back to herself. But you broke her Can, you broke her and deserted her.....all because she loved you enough to give away a part of her family for you." He blurted out with force.

      CeyCey turned quickly to leave. He knew he was saying more than he should, so the best thing for him to do would be to leave. But Can stopped him. He reached out for his arm, holding onto it tightly, " I know all of that CeyCey. I carry it with me everyday. But that doesn't or hasn't kept me from the way I feel about her." Can spoke, fighting back the tears.

      " I have to know about her, do you understand, I have too. Just tell me and I promise I won't ask you anything again....hell you don't even have to speak to me again if that's what you want." He spewed with desperation.

      CeyCey felt a stab of regret at the thought of that. He was angry with him, but not to the point of never speaking to him again. " Well for one thing Can, that is not what I want, and if I tell you about her, please don't hurt her again." He demanded.

      " So, what would you like to know Can?" He asked with heavy sigh. Can thought for a second,..." How is she now, is she happy. Is she seeing someone.....or is she married?" Can asked hesitantly. " What is her life like CeyCey. I feel as if part of my life is gone, you know, since I don't know anything about her's." He stammered around with his words, nervous to know the answers to his questions.

      CeyCey began; " I guess she is happy, well as happy as anyone could be that is still suffering from a lost love. She lives on San Cristobal Island, you knew she moved to Galápagos Islands, didn't you?" He spoke, squinting his eyes as he looked at Can.

      Can nodded, " Yes, I did know that. I tried to keep track of her once her book was published. So she still lives there?" He spoke more eager than ever to learn more.

      " Yes.....in a coastal town of Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. I haven't visited her there yet, but she has shown me around on a video calls. She has a few friends there, and her home is fabulous. She writes, oh she is working on her third book now you know, but I think her life is simple and enjoyable." CeyCey explained, hoping he wasn't saying too much.

      Can focused on the ground, anxiously waiting for his friend to go on. " That's it Can. That's all I can tell you. Sanem has made a life there, she is a successful writer, she is comfortable.....so what else would you want for her." He smirked, knowing full well Can was more interested in her personal life than anything.

      Can felt his blood run cold. Was that all he would tell him. There had to be more...." CeyCey, will you not tell me about her...I need to know, is she involved with someone or.....has....has...has she married." He asked, letting out a heavy sigh.

      There were so many times over the course of his friendship with Can and Sanem that he had wished he knew nothing. He hated to be the one in the middle. " Why do you want to know Can. Will it make a difference, will it make you feel better if she has married another man." He asked feeling his anger begin to surface.

      " No....not at all. I...I...just need to know. Has she forgotten me, has she moved on in every aspect of her life." He spoke out, as he felt his heart drop. "Is that what happened CeyCey; did she forget me, did she find someone else." He pleaded with his friend..

      CeyCey stood, ready for this to be over. " No Can...she hasn't found anyone else. She has had a few men that have wanted to be the one to replace you in her heart....but, Sanem wouldn't allow them to do that. She still thinks that one day you will come to Galapagos Island to find her." He blurted out with sarcasm.

      " But we both know that will never happen....right. I truly don't understand her blind faith in love. The part of her that refuses to let you go.....and trust me I have tried to make her see that you will never come for her. But still".......He stopped abruptly, feeling like he was overstepping his boundaries as a friend.

      He turned quickly, wanting to leave, wanting to disappear instantly before the next on slot of questions. 

      " Please don't leave, please. You are the closest thing I have to her. I need you to stay here with me." He spoke softly, so soft and quietly that CeyCey wasn't sure of what he was saying.

      He stepped closer to Can, " What, I didn't hear what you said." He spoke, leaning down to listen. Can breathed heavy, " Please don't go......I feel her with me when you are here. I...I..need to feel that. I want to feel it." He mumbled, as he stayed focused in the ground, not willing to make eye contact.

      A wave of sympathy washed over him. How  could two people be so much in love, be so dedicated to each other.....Yet be so willing to live a life alone, CeyCey wondered...Maybe this wasn't just a coincidence, maybe this was once again their fate, their moment.......

      " Their Destiny"