The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Twenty Nine

      Sanem had passed through the security gate. Now all she needed to do is make her way to the boarding desk, hand in her ticket and walk the long boarding bridge to board her flight.

      She was in a daze, a rush of emotion and almost a feeling of panic filled her head. But she continued on mechanically making her way to that final step of leaving Istanbul. " Good afternoon ma'am, your flight is boarding. Have a wonderful trip." The woman at the desk said as she handed Sanem her part of the ticket. 

      Sanem managed a slight smile as she took the ticket. She hesitated for a minute before stepping around the desk and heading on toward the walkway to board her plane. Was she sure....was this what she wanted to do....Did she want to step aboard that plane and never look back.....

      Yet she continued on, moving at a snail's pace. With each step her heart beat harder, faster, and her breath became more labored. Her inner voice had been silent up until now, not offering any type of logical explanation, not giving her any well-meaning words of wisdom. 

      She was halfway down the boarding bridge when that voice in her head finally spoke....." So, you will let Can Divit off the hook again. You are going to walk away without demanding an answer or an apology from this man that shattered you heart into a million pieces.....Well done Sanem..

      The words were so loud that they scared her, making her look around behind her frantically for the person that had said them, but none of those people were talking to her......She stopped, letting the other passengers rush by her and on toward the door of the plane. She couldn't go.....she wouldn't go, she couldn't make herself take another step.

       Can wasn't sure what had happened, why had fate decided to throw them together again with such force that it felt like he may die.  How was he supposed to go on with his plans now. How was he going to be able to forget her and all that the love he had for her.....He didn't know how that would ever happen now.

      His life seemed meaningless as he sat there waiting for his flight, his whole body consumed with the pain of losing her. Yes, he would return to Thailand and his work, but he wouldn't be happy, it wouldn't mean anything to him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the scarf that he had found at the cabin. It was smooth and silky to his touch, just like her skin. 

      Why hadn't anyone told him that Sanem was here in Istanbul....why hadn't CeyCey, the person he trusted most in this world, tell him that she was there. Things could have been so different, maybe they could have talked, he could have explained.......He closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. "Explained what.....what could he explain?  How would he be able to explain what he did...

      It made him feel better to hold the scarf in his hands as he waited. The thought of her leaving,  getting on a plane and flying away made him feel sick inside. Now he knew how she must have felt the day he left. The emptiness, the loneliness, the hurt.....it was almost to much to bear..

      He wanted to stop her. He wanted to run through the terminal screaming her name until he found her. But he didn't know which gate she had gone to, in fact he didn't even know where she was flying to from here. His mind was frantic, his heart was racing, "He had to do something, he had to try and stop her. If he didn't he would never be able to live with himself." He thought as he felt his body shake and his breathing become short and uncontrolled.

      The announcement over the intercom was letting him know that his flight would be boarding shortly, so he had to decide......was he going after her, or would he once again turn his back on the only person that he had ever loved. 

      He had always thought himself a strong willed and decisive person. One that knew what he wanted and went after it with force, but with Sanem Aydin he had lost all terms of reason. He was lost without her, that was the only thing that mattered.

      Sanem watched as the other passengers rushed by to board the plane, but she knew she couldn't be one of them. She had to go back.....

      She hurried back down the boarding bridge. The door was beginning to close, " Stop, wait....I'm coming out. Sorry but I can't go." She sputtered to the attendant. " But ma'am, the doors are closing. They won't hold the plane for you. If you don't go now, you will miss your flight." The woman yelled to her.

     Sanem smiled, " I know.....but I can't go. Thank you for holding to bridge door for me, but I won't be leaving Istanbul today." She spoke firmly and boldly...

      Now to find Can....she had to find his boarding gate. She rushed back toward the spot where they had bumped into each other. For some reason she felt that was the place she needed to start. 

      As she rushed back toward that spot, she saw him. He was unmistakable, even from a distance she knew it was him. He was sitting off to himself in front of Gate 12. She stopped and took a deep breath before making her way to where he was seated.

      Was she doing the right thing? Was she ready for that conversation, did she really want to know why he had left her like that......YES, YES SHE DID..

      Before she even realized it, she was standing behind his seat. She was close enough to reach out and touch him, but she didn't. He was holding something in his hands, a scarf......it was her scarf, the one she had lost at the cabin..

      " Can, maybe you are right....maybe we do need to talk." Sanem spoke, her voice quivering. " I think I would like to know why you left without a word and refused to answer my hundreds, if not thousands of texts and calls.....for almost 7 years." 

        Can looked around quickly, in shock. " Sanem...you didn't leave. You didn't go." He stuttered as he stood, his body tingling with the desire to take her in his arms, " You came back" .......His eyes filled with tears.

       She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck, but she didn't, she had to take control of herself. " Yes, I came back.....and you Can Divit will give me an explanation......and what are you doing with my scarf?" She demanded, glancing at her scarf that he held in his hand

       He had missed her more than he realized. Her spunkiness was what he loved most about her....." So, this is your scarf....I knew it was....it had to be. Ok, I will tell you everything. Will you listen?"......Can answered, as his heart filled with happiness...

      She nodded, " Yes I will listen.....But you have to promise me you won't leave again. I couldn't bear it if you left again".... Her voice cracking with emotion as she spoke..

      There she was, standing there in front of him again. He couldn't have been happier.....No, he wouldn't leave again....that he could promise her. Why?......because Can Divit wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.....