The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Two

Sanem...

      The trip home would be a long and grueling one. It would take two plane changes and almost 26 hours before she would finally arrive in Istanbul. After she boarded the plane in Guayaquil, Ecuador, headed for Barcelona Spain, she had plenty of time to think. 

      Her dad should have been the only thought on her mind, but eventually the remembrance of what her life was like the day she had left Istanbul took over  her thoughts. How could she not think of Can,.....how could she not remember what she had been through. There was no amount of time that could erase away that time of her life...

      As far as she knew, Can had done exactly what he had planned to do. He boarded a plane without saying goodbye to anyone and flew away. For months she texted and called him repeatedly, desperate to hear from him, but she only received one reply to a text.... I'm sorry Sanem, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. The hurt is still too strong. Please give me some time....Can

      It was then she decided to forgive herself and try to move on. One month after that one and only correspondence from Can she made her plans to visit the place of her dreams, Galapagos Island. At first it was just going to  be an extended vacation, maybe a couple of months at most. But the magic of the islands drew her in,...captured her, so to speak, and refused to let go.

      She kept the hopes and dreams of a life with Can in her heart, praying that he would come to Galapagos and find her. But after another year of silence from him, she finally made a trip home to Istanbul to get the rest of her things. 

      Her heart had crumbled, splintered into so many pieces that she knew it would take a long time, if ever, to heal. She knew it wouldn't heal at all if she stayed in Istanbul, so she took all that meant the most to her, said a tearful and heartbreaking goodbye to her family and friends and returned to Puerto Baquerizo Moreno, on the Island of San Cristobal.

      In the past 5 years she managed to make a life for herself in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. Living the dream that she had once shared with Can Divit that night on that beach in Agua. She had no other choice but to continue her life without him.... that was the decision he had made for her.

      So, to be going home to Istanbul was nothing less than bittersweet. The last word that she had heard about him was that he was traveling Asia. But that was over 2 years ago. She had read an article in the Turkey newspaper about him. She subscribed to the paper just to keep up with news of home. He had been recognized for his work of helping the refugees in Cambodia.

      It made her smile when she read it that morning with her cup of tea. He still was one of the most sympathetic people she had ever met. It was what she would have expected from him for herself, but that was not the case. He couldn't, or wouldn't accept the things that she had done for him out of love.. 

      The fasten your seat belt light flashed on as the plane prepared to land in Barcelona, Spain. The second leg of her trip home was about to come to an end.

     After a short layover, she would be on her way to Turkey....and home. She was getting more and more anxious about it. What if he was there, what if he had returned to Istanbul, what if he knew she had gone to Galapagos Island all this time....and he didn't care.

      She settled down in her seat, her mind still full of memories. Now it was time to be rational, she thought. Why would he come back to Istanbul? Why would he come back to a place that he never wanted to be in the first place. 

      In an instant she recalled that day at his childhood home when he told her that Istanbul was a place he always came back to. She could still hear his voice in her head, " This is the place I run back to.....there is no other place in the world like Istanbul" ... So maybe she was wrong.

      She closed her eyes as the plane lifted. In less than four hours she would herself be back in Istanbul.....A place that held her heart, a place where she had found the love of her life, but she knew that he wouldn't be there.....  

Can...

      Since Can's flight to Istanbul would divert him to Dubai and there would be a two-hour layover there, he had grabbed a couple of his favorite books and stuck them in his carryon. 

      His dad's illness had taken him a bit by surprise. He hadn't been home for some time, probably a couple of years. But he had always kept in contact with him. A phone call or FaceTime every few weeks. He had told him he was fine, the last time they talked, in fact he talked about how he was helping out at the agency.

      He took one of the books from his bag as he got comfortable for the 7 hour flight to Dubai. It had been a long time since he had taken the time to read. 

      He opened the book, it was his favorite, one that he had read many times but could never get enough of. The writing on the introduction page caught his eye, " Read This Book In Good Health....Let This Book Heal Your Heart.......Sanem"  

      The words jumped off the page at him. His eyes filled with tears so quickly he hadn't been prepared for them. But he remembered this, he remembered the day she came to his house wanting to make things right. She pleaded with him to listen to her, understand why she had done the things she had, and when he didn't listen to her, she left, but not without leaving behind this book for him.

      He wiped the tear from his cheek before the woman sitting next to him had a chance to see it. How many things he had done wrong, how many times he had pushed her away. All because he was afraid of the love he had for her.

      He stuffed the book back in his bag and stared out the window. He knew he had to go home, for his dad, but he wished he didn't have to. That hurt, that desire, that feeling of happiness he had felt there with her, had already began to fire up inside him. 

      He closed his eyes, telling himself, " Sanem will not be there.... you will not see her, hear that laughter that was so distinctively hers, smell that fragrance that made your head spin"....

      Can wanted nothing more than just that, all those things but he had been the one to walk away from them. He had chosen to close himself off from happiness, from that feeling like nothing else mattered in the world but her. 

      Memories flashed like lightning in his mind as he relived those last few days with her. The look of hurt in her eyes when he told her she was just like everyone else to him now...Those words still rang viciously in his head. 

      His throat ached from the pain of holding back all those tears. Before he knew it the announcement came that they would be landing in Dubai shortly. They were there already, he thought, as he listened to the flight attendant. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to get rid of all his thoughts as he exited the plane.

      A few more hours and he will be home.....As close to her as he will ever be. But yet not close enough to touch her....

      Sometime later he boarded his plane headed to Istanbul....headed home. Back to the place where he had found the only happiness in his life.......But she wouldn't be there.