The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Fourteen

      Can had three drinks down by the time that CeyCey rang the doorbell. The sight of his friend was just as welcomed then as the first time he saw him at the hospital. " Come in, come in." Can motioned, reaching out to give him a hug. 

      CeyCey stepped inside and gave his friend a huge hug in return. He could tell that Can had had a drink or two by the slight redness of his eyes. " So Mr. Aziz is feeling better?" He asked. Can smiled, " Yes, he is. I don't know how, but that man is stronger than all of us." He replied shaking his head. 

     They headed to the living room, " Do you want a drink CeyCey, whiskey, tea or I can make some coffee?" He asked. CeyCey was nervous to say the least, and the caffeine from that strong Turkish coffee might make it worse, but he selected it anyway, " It's a little early for me and whiskey, so I will take some coffee, if you don't mind." He answered, hoping that Can would join him, and not continue with the whiskey.

      The two headed out to the garden with their coffee in hand. CeyCey eyed his friend carefully, remembering the night that they had shared a dinner together and Can opened up to him like never before. It was the eve of  the day that Can intentionally boarded a plane and flew out of Istanbul and out of their lives. That day was still a gnawing pain inside CeyCey. 

      CeyCey braced himself for what was to come....the questions. " So CeyCey, you know what I want to talk about. But what I want to know, is will you be truthful with me." He spoke in a quiet voice, shifting his eyes over to look at CeyCey....

      He knew he would need to choose his words wisely.. " Can there was never a time that I wasn't honest with you. But there were many times that you chose only to listen to what you wanted to hear. So, if you are willing to listen to everything then you will hear the truth." CeyCey replied, holding his breath as he anticipated Cans response.

      Can hung his head, smiling slightly, " You are still angry with me for leaving, I know. I'm angry with myself.....but I had never hurt like that before. I didn't know what else to do." He spoke, his voice so heavy with emotion that CeyCey could barely hear him. 

      His throat burned and had tightened up so much that he had to clear his throat to continue,       " All I can say is, I'm sorry. I have regretted every day that I have lived since then, every holiday, every special occasion, everyday that I drew a breathe without her. But....." He stopped, took a deep breath, not finishing the sentence.

      CeyCey listened as he spoke, puzzled as to why this man that was so intelligent, always so confident and sure of himself, had let the emotion of finding his true love be the reason his life was miserable. " I have one question Can, why didn't you just come back home. Why didn't you call her, why didn't you have enough respect for the love you both shared to at least return one of the hundreds and hundreds of messages she sent you." CeyCey blurted out, his voice sounding irritated and on edge.

      His words were like pouring salt into a freshly opened wound. They made Can cringe, "CeyCey, I don't have an answer for you. I have asked myself the same questions over and over.....and I don't know why."  There was no stopping the tears that had filled his eyes, " I just need to know something about her CeyCey. I need to know that she's ok."  he spoke, as the tears trickled slowly down his cheeks.

      Sanem stepped from the shower, feeling revived from the effects of the steamy hot water. She wrapped her hair up tightly in a towel and wiped away the condensation from the mirror. She went about her regular beauty routine; cleanser, than a mild toner to help with the tiny little lines that she had noticed were forming across her forehead; she had nicknamed them her worry lines, and finally her tinted moisturizer. 

      She wasn't ready to settle in for the night just yet. It was still early and sun was still well above the horizon. She picked up the jar of creme from her vanity, reading the word, Cabin....  She closed her eyes, remembering the times that she had been a his cabin with him. Some were very fond and beautiful memories, but some were not. Especially the last time she had seen there.

      The aroma was just as potent, just as fresh as the day she had mixed it all together to make her creme. She drew in the sweet smell, letting it fill her head. She dipped her fingers into the jar, coating the tip of her finger with the crème. She closed her eyes, instinctively she rubbed her hands together and then applied the crème generously to her neck and down her décolletage area.

      She hadn't worn this fragrance in quite a while, but it had always been her favorite. After Can left Istanbul and she decided on her life change and moved to Galápagos Island, she left her signature crème behind. It took her a while to find a fragrance that suited her, but she did.

      This crème had always been hers, she had taken so much pride in the fact that she had been given this recipe from her grandmother. This smell had brought her more happiness that she could have imagined, but in the same way, it had brought her the most devastating pain. But she would wear it today, because she wanted to remember.

      She rummaged through her bag for something comfortable to wear. A basic sundress is what she had chose. It was colorful and easy to wear, but it was a bit low cut, so she took one of the scarfs she had packed and tied it loosely around her neck, just to cover what the dress didn't.

      She looked at the time;  it was still early, too early to go to bed. And besides she was feeling some very strong hunger pains. The only thing she could think of was the fish place on the pier that Can had taken her to on many occasions. The thought of their famous fish sandwiches made her mouth water.

      She grabbed her bag and headed out to Leila's car. Just to the pier and back, she told herself, as she sat down behind the wheel. But in the back of her mind she knew that would not be the case.

      It wasn't long before she found herself driving down a very familiar road. One that she had traveled many times. One that she wished she hadn't traveled at times, but one that had never left her mind....

       She turned off of the main road and drove up the long, tree lined driveway to the tiny cabin. It sat back in the trees, almost out of view, but it looked the same. She was worried that maybe someone else owned it now, but as she pulled the car up closer she could see all the same outdoor furniture. 

      The sight of this place made her stomach flutter. Should I  get out, she was thinking. " Why not, Can Divit is long gone from this place, he probably hasn't even been back here." She spoke with confidence as she unbuckled the seatbelt and climbed out.

      She was feeling every emotion imaginable as she walked slowly up the steps. A chill or a shiver of excitement ran very noticeably down her body as she looked around.....

      " This is just as I remember it.....it hasn't changed a bit." She uttered quietly under her breathe as she gazed around in pure amazement.

      "  Nothing has changed at all....not even my heart".....