The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Twenty Five

      Can had made the decision not to sell his cabin, but the final goodbye to the cabin was more painful than ever as he locked the door for the last time. He had no plans to return but he knew that if he ever did, this cabin would be here waiting for him. 

      He had called for a taxi to take him to the hospital for the last time to say his goodbyes to his dad and Emre. The taxi honked as it pulled up the long driveway to the cabin. Can headed out to get in, but turned for one last look. The image of Sanem in his t-shirt and socks, dancing about in front of the cabin was still so vivid in his mind that it startled him.

      But he knew it was just his imagination, she wasn't there, and she would never be there again. His heart felt heavy with regret as he closed the door of the taxi and watched this place quietly disappear from view as they drove away...

      He only had three hours to get to the hospital, say his goodbyes to his dad and his brother and get to the airport in time to catch his flight. He knew he had spent too much time at the cabin and now he would have to hurry to get to the airport, but he had needed that time there. He needed that closure of her in his life......

      He had made the biggest mistake of his life that night he left Istanbul almost 7 years ago.....and there was nothing he could do about it now but forget....

      Leila had already left to take her mother back to the hospital by the time that Sanem was dressed and ready to go. She assured them she would be there to tell her dad goodbye before heading to the airport. 

      There was only one more place she had to go before visiting the hospital; and that was the cabin. She called for a taxi and waited. She only had a few hours before her flight, so a quick last minute look around the cabin and she would be on her way, she thought.

      Her excitement had turned into sorrow as the taxi pulled up in front of the cabin. She asked the driver to wait for a moment as she opened the door and got out. The feeling was so strong it nearly took her breath away as she walked up the steps. All those memories of her life here with him flooded her thoughts.

      The fire pit that they had laid beside, the small table that had hosted many dinners for the both of them, the lounger that they had snuggled in on many occasions....all of these things were a part of her. But she knew she could never come her again.

      This was her time to say goodbye. To let it all go. She hadn't done that all those years ago when she left for Galápagos Islands, she still had thought he would come for her there. But she had been wrong.....He didn't come, he didn't call, he didn't text....So there was nothing left to do but forget....

      She walked up to the front door to look in for the last time, but to her surprise, the window shades were down keeping her from looking in. When she was there before the window shades were open and she had looked inside, remembering the small one room cabin in every detail. Had someone been there? There had to have been someone there, she thought, the shades surely didn't close by themselves.

      Sanem stepped back away from the door and looked around, wondering if maybe they were still there, watching her from the trees. Had Can sold the cabin, she wondered, but why would everything be the same inside if he had. No....someone had been there, she just knew it...but who.

      An uncomfortable feeling filled her, " Maybe I shouldn't have come." She mumbled, backing away slowly, scanning the small hut with her eyes. " This is harder than when I left the first time. I'm saying goodbye to every part of you, to every part of us." She spoke out loud, as if she were speaking to Can himself.

      The tears stung her eyes and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold them back. Her heart ached so badly she thought it would break, as she realized she would do anything to have this part of her life back...But it was clear that Can Divit didn't feel the same. He had moved on.....     

      She turned quickly and headed toward the waiting taxi, wanting desperately to escape that sick rumbling in her stomach. Ok Sanem, that's it.....you've said goodbye. Now get in the taxi and leave.....Her inner voice shouted inside her head...

       She barely remembered getting into the taxi, as the grief of losing him again filled her heart. Her eyes blurred with tears as she watched the cabin slowly disappear from sight, and then... it was gone....But she had filed the memory of that hut and all that had happened there away in her mind.....and there it would stay.

     " Driver I am so sorry, but can you please hurry. I have to get to the hospital quickly." She told him, as she shifted nervously in the backseat.  She had stayed too long at the cabin and now she would have to say a very quick goodbye to her parents and get to the airport. She had less than 2 hours to catch her flight to Rome. 

      The taxi stopped in front of the hospital, Sanem paid and grabbed her small bag. She hurried to the elevator, still feeling the hurt and the pain from the goodbye to the cabin. Just say your goodbyes and be on your way, She told herself. It's time to get as far away from Istanbul as you can....

      She rushed down the hallway and into her dads room. " Sorry I'm so late. We got tied up in a traffic jam." She explained, bending down to give her dad a kiss. " So how are we feeling today? You look great by the way." She said, trying to hide the pain she was feeling.

      " I'm good my daughter. You can return to your home and I don't want you to worry about me. I promised your mother to follow her orders to a tee." Nihat replied, as he stroked her hair. Sanem smiled, " Mom will make sure you do. I wouldn't want to cross her if I were you." She whispered in his ear, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

       Can glanced at his watch, " Dad I have to be going if I'm going to catch my flight. Take care and listen to the doctors. I'll check in once I'm back in Thailand." Can told him, leaning down for a hug. " Emre, take good to are of him. Call me if you need anything." He said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. " Take care brother....." He muttered, as he snatched up his duffel bag and hurried out the door. 

      He had never been one for goodbyes, especially a goodbye that was so final. He knew he would never come back, not until his......well, not until he had too. 

      He was cutting it short to get to the airport in time. He took advantage of this ride to the airport look around this beautiful city one more time. To remember his home here, his life here.....and his love here..

      The only love that would ever be in his heart.......Sanem..