The Return To Istanbul

Chapter Twenty Eight

      The sound of her voice sent a mass of goosebumps that covered his body. The word, miracle, was the only word that had crossed his mind as he stood there looking into her eyes. At that moment they were the only two people in the world in that mad rush of people that filled the airport terminal.

     Sanem stood there almost mesmerized by his presence, the look in his eyes, and the closeness of his body to hers. Her throat was dry as she tried to swallow before speaking again.   " Can, I can't believe it's you. It's been so long." She muttered, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his face.

      He couldn't keep that very so slight smile from forming on his mouth as he listened to her voice. She was so close to him that he could hear her breathing, yet she still seemed to far away to touch. He knew he needed to say something, anything, but the sight of her had all but rendered him speechless. 

      Sanem stood there wondering if he was going to reply to her. She felt a bit uncomfortable with the way he was staring at her. It was as if he was looking at a ghost. " Can, are you ok." She asked, reaching out to touch his arm. Her actions surprised even her, but not as much as they surprised him, according to the look on his face.

      That slight touch from her had nearly caused his heart to stop beating, and he was sure it showed on his face.  " Yes, yes, I'm ok Sanem. How are you. I can't...I don't believe it's really you." He stammered about. He seemed to be in what they called, an out of body experience. He could see them standing there face to face, as if he were watching from a distance. 

      Sanem was trying hard to get her senses about her. The feel of his skin as she touch him made her know he was real, and standing there in front of her. Up until that moment, she wasn't sure of anything. " Yes it's me." She answered, " But Can, what are you doing here?" She asked, feeling her head begin to clear.

      Can blinked his eyes as if he were coming it of a trance of some sort, " Oh, oh I was here visiting my dad. He was sick and in the hospital, so I had to rush home." He spoke, not sure if the words were coming out right. " And you, are you coming or going." He asked.

      " Really, your dad was sick." She replied, cocking her head to one side, trying to hide the fact she already knew his dad was sick. " How strange, my dad was sick too. But he is better now. And Mr. Aziz, I hope he is doing better also." She asked, her voice quivering with nerves. She looked away from his eyes, feeling as if she might faint if she kept looking into those eyes. He had always been able to bring her to her knees with nothing more than a look.

      " Ah, yes, dad is doing much better." He finally replied after a minute. " I needed to get back to my job, so I.....but I am glad your dad is recovering. How long have you been here in Istanbul." He blurted out sounding desperate to know so he could piece this puzzle all together.

      " Me....oh, I've been here about four days, but you know, my work is calling me back home as well." She spoke, as she looked around the busy terminal. " In fact my plane will be leaving shortly.....so....I guess.." Sanem fidgeted about with her bags, hoping and wishing for the strength to walk away calmly and respectfully, without looking like a blundering fool. 

      Can nodded, " I see. So you don't have time to talk. I would really like to catch up, find out how you have been." He mumbled quietly. He felt as if his heart would burst as he stood there gazing into her face. " Im sorry for walking away......" He began to speak, but Sanem held up her hand stopping him before he had time to finish.

      " Can, there is not reason to get into that. Not now, at least. And certainly not here." She snipped back at him. Can could feel the tears burn hot in his eyes so he looked away, trying to make them go away. " I see, so you don't want to talk about it." Can replied, swiping his hand across his face nervously..

      The voice over the loud speaker was calling out for the passengers for flight TK1861 to Rome, Italy to make their way to Gate 39.  It seemed as if she had just woke up from a strange dream, as she looked around. " Oh, that's my flight. I have to go." She spoke, grabbing her small carryon bag. " Can, it was so good to see you again. But, I have to get to my gate. Maybe another time." She muttered, as she slowly turned to walk away. But every inch of her body was fighting against her making it hard to even move.

      Can didn't move, didn't speak, just stood there paralyzed with regret and fear. " Can, it really was good to see you." She repeated, as she rested her hand on his arm for a second before starting off toward Gate 39.

      A cold chill filled his body, Was she gone....did she walk away. The thoughts racing like a train through his mind. Every moment of their lives together filled his head, running like a clip from an old movie. He was numb, and it took him a second to think straight, but when he did, he turned around to stop her, but she was gone. She had disappeared, as if she had been swallowed up by this sea of rushing people.

      He strained is eyes to try and find her in the crowd, to try and spot the white Pyrex hoodie that she was wearing, the one that he had gifted to her years before. 

      A strange tingling feeling crept up his body, one that he had never felt before. He had let her go....he had let her walk away from him again. He needed to sit down, he needed to think about what just happened. 

      He groped his way the short distance to Gate 12. He still had a while to wait for his flight to Dubai, so he found a seat. His mind was still in a fog of disbelief.....what had he done? 

      Sanem rushed through the crowd, but her legs felt as if they were trodding through a pit of wet cement. Each step grew more and more difficult to take, each step that took her further and further away from him. She remembered the feelings she had the first time she walked through this terminal to leave Istanbul, and they were much the same as the feelings she had now. 

      Gate 39 was in sight, as she hurried on through the crowd. She would barely have time to get through security and then on to the boarding bridge. Why did she have to run into him....why now. She had made her peace with this place, she had said her final goodbye to her home....and to him, so Why Now.....the voice screamed in her head....

      There were only a few people in front of her at security, and then it was on to the check in desk. But why was she dreading it....why did she want so badly to turn back. 

       She knew her home was in Galápagos Island now, not here in Istanbul......Her life was there, her friends were there..........But her heart was not there.......

      Her heart was here.....her soul was here....everything she had ever wanted was here...