The Fight for Chief

Chapter 17

Leaving you.

It was now early October and Derek's first day back at Seattle Grace after the shooting.

"Hey" Meredith smiled as she brought a coffee over to the bed and handed it to him. "Are you ready?" She asked as she slipped back under the covers, enjoying the warmth in his bed. He laughed a little. "Not really" he smiled small before taking a sip of his coffee.

She grabbed his other hand under the covers. "Thank you, for all of this, I didn't ask for you to stay so long" Derek smiled as he squeezed her hand. "2 weeks in this trailer? It was nothing. And if it means you don't get nightmares, then I'll stay as long as you want me. Besides, I've enjoyed you teaching me how to fish" Meredith giggled. "Which reminds me-" Derek said with a smile on his face. "Would you want to come on a fishing trip with me, just up one of the mountain trails? I could teach you how to wild camp."

Meredith grinned. "That was my suggestion 3 months ago but it never happened" she laughed. "That's because you brought Addison up" Derek laughed with her, playfully shoving her shoulder. "Have you forgiven me for that yet?" Meredith asked. Derek stopped laughing for a moment, looking to her.

Back then I didn't know I was going to fall in love with you.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah- yeah- I think so" he said before climbing out of bed. "Fishing trip. Thursday and Friday, you and me." Derek said as he slipped on his shirt. Meredith tried not to look as his abs flexed, but she couldn't help herself. She only nodded, not wanting to make a fool out of herself.

An hour later the pulled up to the hospital and made their way inside. "Derek!" Lexie called as she came running over and hugged him tight. "How are you?" She said excitedly as they all walked down the hall to the attendings lounge. "Feeling much better" He smiled as he grabbed his lab coat and scrubcap.

"Richard is setting the next task today" Meredith reminded him. He froze. "Right, the fight for chief" he mumbled. "Whatever" he said before leaving the room with not much else to say.

"Is he not excited to be back?" Lexie asked curiously. Meredith shook her head. "He tired" she shrugged. "Hmm. Are you tired?" Lexie asked knowingly. Meredith frowned at her. "Come on, you're living with him. You can't tell me you haven't slept with him yet. Is he good?" Lexie asked eagerly. Meredith shook her head. "We've not slept together and we're not living together. I'm just helping him" she said as she grew frustrated.

Alex and Izzie came in, along with Mark. "Hey, Big Grey, what's wrong with your boyfriend this morning?" Mark asked as he made himself a coffee. Meredith sighed again. "He's not my boyfriend" she snapped at him. "But you're living together?" Izzie asked. "I'm not living with him. I'm just helping him get back on his feet" she said angrily. "Have you been sharing a bed?" Alex asked.

"Guys!" Meredith shouted angrily. "Me and Derek aren't anything. Cut it out!" She said before storming out the attendings lounge. She began to cry a little, wiping her tears as she made her way up to Webber's office. If only they knew why he needed the help. And Oh how I wish we were something.

"Hey" she smiled as she walked in and saw Derek and Webber talking. "Meredith, come in" Webber smiled as he handed her a packet of files. "I was just telling Derek about the next task: Attending and Intern shift rotations. I want it clear, fair, and easy to understand. I also want you doing a reference for every single intern in the surgical department. Okay?" Webber asked. They both nodded. "I've given you both extra time on this given your recent circumstances, I want it in 3 weeks from now, okay? November 1st. It's nearing Christmas, the end of the race, the pressure is on now"

They both nodded and left the room.

"Hey, do you want to go get some food from the cafeteria?" Derek asked. She was surprised. They hadn't gotten breakfast or coffee from there since...when they met. "Sure" she smiled as they walked together. "Was everything okay this morning?" Meredith asked quietly. He sighed. "It's been a nice 6 weeks not thinking about how I have to fight my best friend for a job we've both dreamed of having. I don't even know if I want this anymore" Derek said as they joined the line.

Meredith quickly turned back to him. "You don't want it?" She asked. He just shrugged. "There's other things I want more" he said as he looked in her eyes, a blush grew on her cheeks as she quickly looked away. He laughed a little as he grabbed a bacon roll and so did she.

"Are you going to give up?" She asked. He just shrugged again. "I want the job, but the shooting just-" he sighed and cleared his throat. "It just shifted my priorities. And being Richard Webbers personal chess piece isn't one of them" he explained as he paid for his food. He then stepped aside as Meredith went to pay but the woman brushed her along.

Meredith frowned as she looked to Derek who was smiling. "You really didn't need to buy me that" she challenged playfully. "It's as a thank you, for staying with me the last few weeks" he smiled as they sat down. "I told you it was fine. And you're going to start going to see Wyatt and get some sleep medication and things will get better" Meredith said.

"I feel like I'm at a dead end at the moment" Derek admitted truthfully. "How so?" She asked. "for the first time in my life, I don't know where I'm heading. I don't even know what the next week will bring. I think you'll get chief and nothing work-wise is motivating me to stay at Seattle Grace. I've been here since I was an intern. Maybe it's time for me to move on" he shrugged.

Meredith's heart dropped.

"You're thinking of leaving?" She asked quickly. He shrugged. "I haven't told anyone yet because I'm not sure, but the NIH are offering me a job based in D.C to map the brain. Maybe that's better suited for me" he sighed.

"The government wants you?" She asked. He nodded. "Derek-" she said. "I'm not saying I'm taking it, or-" he shook his head. "It's just my only option right now" he said. "But it's not, you might still get chief" Meredith tried to reason. He only sighed more. "It's like you were born to do that job, Meredith. Webber isn't giving it to me" Derek said.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Has someone said something to you to make you change your mind? You're being strange" she frowned as she grabbed his hand from across the table. He shook his head but Meredith knew better. "Derek." She demanded. "The president called me, said they want me on this project" Derek said quickly.

"Oh" she pushed back in her seat, retracting her hand. "And you're seriously considering it instead of being chief?" She asked. He sighed. "This opportunity will never come by again, to work for the president is the ultimate dream. I-" he shook his head. "I want to be honest with you about it. I don't want to lead you on-" she frowned. "In your career that is" he cleared his throat. "I'm not saying I'm taking it, I'm just telling you that I'm considering it"

She bit her lip so hard she was convinced it was going to bleed. "And what about us?" She asked as tears filled her eyes. "What about us?" He asked. She grew angry. "This, Derek! Us! You're my best friend, you stood in-front of a gun for me, you told me you loved me! Does D.C just magically make you forget about that?!" She said, tears now pouring down her face. "Meredith, I told you this it's currently just an option, I haven't said yes to anything yet" Derek tried to reassure her but then grew frustrated himself. "Did you seriously think I wouldn't factor you into this equation? That I'd just forgotten that I told you I loved you?" Derek accused as he stood up out his seat.

"Derek-" she sighed. "No! I was trying to be honest, I was being honest with you about this because you're the most important person in my life.And you won't even listen to me!"

"You, you are the reason I don't want to leave Seattle"

And with that, he walked away.