*＊✿❀LO'AK | fallen angel❀✿＊*

eighteen

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:lo'aks･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:** ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:pov･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ
content warning: death

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
i held her limp body in my arms. the love of my life, the creator of this new feeling, my heart and soul manifested her towards me. and i held her. her limp, lifeless body. pleading for people to help.

her once angelic eyes are now rolling back into her meeting eywa.

everyone gathered near screaming out. looking to others for answers. hands and knees, the blood pouring out onto me.

my soul is hurting, her soul is leaving me.
maybe i am selfish for wanting her to stay.
maybe i should let her go into the light.
maybe she just needed to show me to open up, and that's it. and this is it.

my energy is willing her to come back to me.
i cradle her in my arms, rocking back and forth.

"LO'AK" my dad yells in front of me
"give me her, cmon." he reaches down.

i pull away. i know i need to give over cloud. but if this is the last night i'll ever hold her, i want three more minutes.
"lo'ak." my mother whispers.
holding onto my back.
i lend her over, my dad rushing to a hut.
the only thing left of her physically is her blood all over me. i lay back into my mother.

sobbing into my mother. neteyam shooing everyone away. kiri asking for supplies to help. tuk just crying.

this can not be real.
i can not lose her.

slowly fading out. crying myself to sleep. my mother holding my head into her arms. shushing me to sleep. swaying me.

darkness all around me. a sad, cold, ugly feeling manifests itself in me. my limbs are not my own, this body is not my own. it's too real for me, in this very moment i do not feel real.

shivering, going numb, i've cried all the tears i could produce.

suddenly light from all around me. it shines on me, showing me a mirror placed in front of me.
i fear i am too ugly to look at, feeling vulnerable i go running.

away from myself, and trying to escape this demanding light.

"why are you running from me?" cloud speaks.
her soft, slow voice speaks out.
freezing my entire body.
the numbness fades away.
turning around into the light.
covering my eyes to see her.

she's flying above me. coming down towards me, covering my body with her wings. i'm scared. i am a scared boy.

she takes my breath away. she takes my face into her hands.
"lo'ak."
this all feels too real. is this real?
"i'll love you forever."
no. absolutely not.
—
"NO- NO- NO. CLOUD-" i wake myself up from that nightmare.

mom and dad by my side. holding me down.
telling me it's okay, telling me i'm fine.
how can i be fine?

how can i unlearn all the love she gave me?
—
- vbelle