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"I think grief is one of the easiest things to get over."
No it's not.
It's been 21 days, 3 weeks, 504 hours, 30,240 minutes, and 1,814,400 seconds ever since Madalyn's best friends, John b and Sarah were pronounced dead.
After hearing those words, her entire world shattered into the tiniest pieces nobody can ever fix.
The only things that replied in her mind while she was slumped in her bed were the last words her friends told her. And most importantly, what the last thing she said to them.
"Go!"
That was the last thing Kiara and Madalyn heard from the blonde girl. They wished it was at least an "I love you." or "See you soon." Something bigger and better than "Go."
"Never change."
That was the last thing the group heard from their best friend of 10 years. Mostly like their older brother. Those same words, the same tone, the same gesture with his hands, the same smile, and the same voice only repeated in everyone's heads.
They couldn't do anything about it but just listen to their broken minds play the last thing they heard from their best friend like it was a broken record.
According to Google one of the hardest things to overcome in your life is losing your job. Well, Google might have to rethink that stupid inference because losing both of your best friends at once is way harder than a job.
Grief is harder to overcome.
Madalyn has separated herself from the others. She spends her time in her room and tucked into bed. But she wants to go check up on her boyfriend, JJ because his father was taken to jail after he was caught abusing JJ on the porch.
But when she's not in her bed, she spends her time at the empty beach where the group would hang out, when their life wasn't falling apart.
She finds it peaceful and joyful when she sits there playing with the small brown sand or walking in the warm blue salty water as she thought about the moments she shared with the others.
For those 3 weeks, the one wish she wished for was 5 more minutes with her best friends, and she'll be set for life. But if we're being realistic, that's never going to happen.
Her family always comes up to her room and checks on her if needed, but the only thing that comes out of her mouth is a hum. Or maybe sometimes she just wouldn't reply and just stare at them until they left her room.
She has officially lost herself. She thought that her life was finally coming together. She had the pieces, decorations and the glue. But there was one problem. The glue wasn't drying.
If the glue wasn't drying how would her life be set? So once John b was up for murder, that's what ruined it for her.
Over the last 21 days of grief, she has officially wasted all of her tears. Now when she thinks of John b and Sarah she no longer cries. Her stomach turns to guilt and remorse and loneliness.
When she tries to let it out she can't. No tears can slip out of her brown eyes after those 21 miserable days. It was like her tears were frozen from the inside, and they still haven't defrosted.
Her parents are concerned. Heavily freaking concerned about her mental health and feelings. When it's dinner time she just eats her dinner while she stares into blank space. With her hood on, sweats tied, and slippers slid.
Her little sister, Elle, is clueless about the entire situation. She doesn't know that Sarah and John b are dead. She doesn't know that John b is the most wanted person in Outer Banks. She doesn't know anything.
Sometimes Elle asks Madalyn during dinner with the family, stuff about the pouges. "Do you even talk to John b anymore?" "When are you hanging out with your friends?" In response, Madalyn takes a quick look at her little sister, then at her parents who shared an awkward complexion, then she spaces out again. But if it's a terrible day, she'll excuse herself from the quiet table and run to the bathroom.
Her parents requested therapy for her, expecting her to understand and run into their arms with a soft smile and a hug. Well, sometimes things don't go as expected.
Instead, she just laughed in their faces while tears brimmed her brown eyes. "I'm not broken, mom! I don't need fucking help! I'm fine." After that, she stormed out of their bedroom and stormed into hers.
She thinks she doesn't need it. All she does is lock herself in her dark and depressing room and just sleep. She blocks out every single conversation someone tries to have with her and dazes off.
She wishes everything can go back to normal but she can't bring herself to start. She wants to become happier, become a better person but she can't. She feels like it's not going to work out and John b and Sarah's deaths are going to weigh on her back for eternity.
She hasn't heard from her best friend's Pope or Kiara in 20 days. And Pope and Kiara haven't heard from her in 20 days. The only person she sometimes talk to is JJ. The last time she had spoken to him was seven days ago.
For a couple that's heavily obsessed with each other and not hearing from each other in that much days is concerning. They've sent simple text messages like "How are you?" or "What you've been up to?" Something to try to block out what's been going on in their miserable world. But they haven't had an actual conversation in a while which is understandable but strange.
She misses him and he misses her. But she wants to be alone. And so does he. That's how they thrive. They think about their issues alone, by themself and then open up to each other and share their thoughts.
Does she think she needs therapy? No. Don't even bring that word toward her or else the room will be flipped upside down. She hates that word. If she ever goes to therapy, she told her parents that she'll feel "Different from the others." Mind you, she also hates attention. Or feeling like she's craving it.
But she needs to talk to someone. Yes, she could be her own therapist but after holding in all of her feelings, she can explode on anyone at any moment. But Madalyn is strong about her feelings and strong about her voice. So if she doesn't believe in anything that people are forcing her to do, or say. She'll let them know.
