Beauty and the Dork

One of Us

I started towards Algebra, grinning to myself. I suddenly felt a heavy set of arms drape around me, pulling me in for a hug. I looked up and smiled wider.

"How goes it, Mar-got?" Jason Carver asked, smiling at me. Ever since he met me, he always pronounced my name how it was spelled, refusing to use the silent "T". I leaned into him.

"Oh, it goes, Jace – how about you?" I asked. He dropped me and shrugged, still grinning at me.

"Living the dream, girl," he replied. He looked down, raising an eyebrow. "Did I just see you talking to Eddie Munson?"

"Yeah! We're partners for Ms. Donnell's big English project," I answered. He furrowed his brows. I elbowed him. "What?"

"Nothing – he's just weird."

"He's nice!" I replied. He nodded.

"No, yeah, he's nice for the most part. He's just super weird," he repeated. I shrugged.

"Yeah, he's a little dorky, but he's harmless," I said. I nudged him again. "Not everyone wears their letterman jacket every day and calls it fashion."

He laughed and playfully punched my arm, conceding to my observation. I hoped he would not continue to push me about this, because I didn't know how to explain my utter fascination with Eddie Munson.

When I had moved to Hawkins, I was determined to rebrand myself, wanting to leave behind the goofy nerd I had been previously. I had just gotten my braces off and learned how to use contacts and makeup. I was not going to be bullied anymore. I was not going to be ostracized. I was going to have friends and go to parties and finally kiss boys. It definitely helped that Hawkins was small and unused to change, so as a new transfer, I was easily welcomed.

I had quickly fallen in with the crowd of popular kids and for the first time in my life, I was the person in the room everyone was drawn to. People wanted to invite me to things, handsome boys asked me on dates, and I had friends.

But I could not stop noticing the long-haired dork who sat in the back of my classes.

I was so excited when Ms. Donnell announced us as partners. Eddie was aggressively against the norm – he made decisions that set him apart from everyone and made him stick out like a sore thumb. He seemed to do whatever he wanted to do, whenever he wanted to do it, and I was green with envy over it. I was desperate for an ounce of the self-assurance he had – maybe if I had any of it, I wouldn't have felt the compulsion to completely change myself once I moved to Hawkins.

And even though the popular kids I was now friends with made fun of him and his friend group, he continued to be himself.

I thought he was confident in himself, but the last couple of days had confused me. He was bumbling and awkward; nothing like the mysterious metalhead I had built up in my head. He seemed to want to share the interesting things he enjoyed while being horrifically embarrassed by them at the same time. I even had to push him to pick The Hobbit – I knew he had read it. I had seen him walk around with a copy that was practically falling apart because of how much he had read it.

I had agonized all night about the party I was throwing tonight. In the moment, I didn't invite Eddie because I knew that my friends would be bewildered by my actions. I didn't know how to explain that Eddie Munson was the personification of everything I wanted to be – confident in who they actually were and unfazed by what others thought of them.

Because if they knew that, they would know who Margot Patterson was before Hawkins. Dorky. Unlikeable. A freak.

I had decided this morning though that it shouldn't matter – it had been rude for me to talk about the party without inviting him. And part of me wanted another excuse to see him outside of school.