bros (a bxb story)

Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: Alone in a Crowd

I felt weird.

Like I was myself, but not myself. Like I was watching myself in some kind of Netflix show. The kid who came out. What would everyone say or think? Would the school bullies, or the football team, or whatever, would they confront me? Would they throw their drinks in my face? Would the girls I'd slept with come to me, their claws out, justifiably pissed that I'd fucked them and ditched them? Only to tell the world I really didn't like having sex with them at all? Would Kenny come and find me? Would Sammy?

Would Jeremy?

Pretty much everyone said nothing, and I have no idea what they thought.

It was perfect.

I guess.

=

I went to class. Environmental law. I took notes. I watched Ivy out of the corner of my eye. Of anyone, she might have already known, since I never once pressured her to have sex or even kissed her all that much. And don't forget I didn't really get hard until Jeremy lay naked in bed next to me. But she was still pissed at me, regardless of my sexuality. I think, honestly, she was being a little hypocritical, pretending like I was a villain, since she slept with Jeremy, but whatever.

In class she ignored me.

I know I'd slept with at least one other girl, three rows over, but she ignored me too. Played on her phone the entire sixty minutes.

I walked to my next class, even though I had a thirty minute break. It was still a gloomy day. I'd texted Cody and he let me borrow some of the clothes he stashed at Stella's. So I had a hoodie and some jeans on. I was warm enough, but for some reason I just felt cold from the inside out. Like I was walking in my sneakers, but I couldn't feel my feet. I tried to breathe through it and not have like a total freak out.

Jeremy wasn't here anymore to help me calm down. Like he always had in the past.

The classroom door wasn't open, so I just leaned against the wall, keeping my eyes down, hoodie up. Trying to pretend I was maybe someone else.  Someone who didn't just cut off all of their hair and out himself to millions of people.

Kenny was in this class. What the fuck would I do if he wanted to talk? I really didn't feel like it. I didn't want to talk to him or anyone. I wanted to be left alone.

I sat in the back, not my normal spot in here. But I was trying to hide. No lie. Hide from Kenny.  My bro. One of my best friends.  

I didn't need to worry. He came in, sat down, and brought out his laptop. He didn't look at me once. I know it was him. He's had that fucking ratty hoodie since we were sixteen. After our Stell(ar) makeover, I thought we'd finally seen the last of it. Guess not.

The teacher came in, looking exhausted. Ever think college instructors were rich and snooty like in the movies? Not likely. This lady, maybe fifteen years older than her freshman History students, already shared with us that she had to live out of her car, and was always asking if any of us had leads on an inexpensive rental. So she came to class, her bedraggled self, coffee stains, and purple rings under her eyes.  No one cared that she was a mess, because she was an amazing teacher. She make the class interesting, which was a hard sell for us Bio kids.

"Okay, peeps. Let's get on with it. Who did the reading assignment? Anyone..any...." Her homework harangue was interrupted by a gasp. "My god, Kenny! My god what did you do to your hair??"