that night was terrible for me. everything hurt. not just the wounds on the outside mickey gave me, he also broke me on the inside.
why the fuck did i thought he liked me the way i liked him.
hot tears were running down my cheeks as i head my family partying down stairs. that made me cry even more. they didn't give a shit i wasn't there. they didn't care about me. like mickey doesn't care about me.
this is so fucked up, i can't do this anymore.
-------
the next moring i calmed down a little bit. while i ate a sandwich at breakfast table fiona came downstairs in her new suit she got for her office job at world wide cup. don't ask me why she working for a cup-company. but the paying is good so i won't complain.
"violet, thjat bruise is looking better." fiona said as she packed our lunch bags. that cut my i'm okay-emotion off. ouch.
"who beat you up again?" carl asked staring at my face.
"uh, no one. just karate training. had to fight some fat n' strong girl yesterday." i lied, fake giggling.
"you lost against a fat girl?" carl's eyes were wide open. "i thought you were the best fighter."
"go easy, bud. yeah, i might be a good fighter but defo not the best!" i laughed.
"just be careful next time alright? don't want ya coming home looking like that after every training session." fiona smiled when jimmy and liam came downstairs.
if only she knew...
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later that day i was hanging out with mandy. we were about to get into the L when i wanted to know more about mickey's marriage.
"mickey's getting married, does that make fucking sense to you?" i asked as we entered the train. "i mean be honest."
"what sense needs to be made? someone's pregnant, someone's got them pregnant and that's why marriage was invented." she answered.
we fell in a second of silence. "uhm, they been going out long?" i asked, taking a sip from the coke in my hand.
"who knows, i wasn't it on the courting or the fucking." mandy shrugged.
"where'd they meet?" i asked.
"she works at garden springs spa. if you call jerking off random dudes working." she giggled. but i wasn't amused. i hold tighter onto the grip.
"she pretty?" i finally asked. that's something going on really long on my mind now. was she fucking prettier than me?
"oh on a dead-eyed russian hand-whore scale, i'd say she'd rate 'bout a 7."
i felt anger and sadness and jealousy boiling inside my veins. fuck me.
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after mandy and i split up because she was meeting some dude, trying to make lip jealous, i went to the garden springs spa.
it was a really ran down building. i sat there for 10 minutes when i pulled out a pack out smokes, lightning one up and taking a drag. it was fucking freezing out here but the nicotine warmed me a little form the inside.
another half an hour passed, in which i smoked 6 more cigarettes when the door of the spa swung open.
two older girls came out, probably around 20 to 25. oh my god.
one of them was the girl terry called that day to fuck the gallagher out of mick. i didn't knew the other girl but mickey's bride-hand-whore light they're smokes up and the walked away.
i felt that lump growing in my throat again.
---------
when i got home it was already dark outside. i went upstairs to find my two older brothers sitting by the window, sharing a cigarette.
i threw my bag back aggresively against the wall making them jump.
"jesus fucking christ, violet what are you doing?" ian snapped.
"the whore that mickey's marrying is an actual whore that works at the fucking garden springs spa. WHAT THE FUCK." i snapped back as i took my jacket off, sitting down on the bed in front of the window, reaching out for the cigarette in ian's hand. "gimmie this."
he raised his eye brows and handed me the smoke.
"if you need anyone to finger you, you'll get a family discount." lip joked. i rolled my eyes and took a long ass drag, inhaling the smoke.
"shut the fuck up, this is serious. terry made mickey fuck her to fuck the gallagher out of him." i glanced at lip.
"what, when?" ian asked, sitting up staight.
"after he fucking caught us together." i stood up and leaned against the wall next to the door, taking another drag.
"violet, how did we not know this shit?" lip stood up, followed by ian.
"i didn't tell you." i shrugged, crossing my arms.
"well, did it work?"
i fell silent for a second, feeling that lump in my throat again. fuck off seriuosly. i took a deep breath before answering him. "i mean he might have faked it one or twice but i know he wants to be with me. i know what he felt for me. you can't fake that feeling." i fighted the tears coming up the way to my eyes again. why the fuck am i this emotional?
"and now that slut is pregnant." i said, sitting down next to lip on the bed again. ian on his other side, looking at me with sad eyes.
"violet, my sister, you need to get out there and fuck someone new, okay? and someone with a normal family, not a guy with a fucked up crack father like mickey or someone your age, not some old creep like ned." lip laughed as he ruffled through my hair.
and i actually didn't feel like laughing, but i still couldn't hld back a little chuckle.
"but seriously, go into a bar, make your need known and have at it." ian added, pulling me into a hug.
"i love you guys, you know thst right?" i said as ian let go of me.
"yeah we know that and we love you too." he smiled. "i'm gonna hop into the shower. see ya." he walked out of our room.
"but lip, mandy's upset, you're upset about karen." i looked at lip.
"jesus, how many people is mandy talking to?" he muttered.
"she cares about you." i said as i pulled out another smoke. "why? i dunno. you can be a real shithead." lip pulled out a fire and lit it up. "thanks." i mumbled as i took my drag.
"hmm..." lip made. "how did we get this mixed up with two people from the milkovich family?" he asked, staring to the ceiling.
i thought for a second. "bad parenting."
but to be a 100% honest with myself, moving on from mickey isn't that easy as i hope it to be.
*editors note: hey everyone, i'm so sorry that this update took me so long but i'm really not motivated at the moment. still, i'll try to be more active. (defo not gonna work lol)
also this chapter is kind of boring but next one's gonna be a little more exciting. anyways, thank you all so much for all the ready, votes and comments. we hit 50k!!!
i wish ya'll the best 'n lots of love, fenja :)*
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violet gallagher // shameless
Fanfiction[mickey milkovich x fem!oc] grown up in a shitty neighborhood, with a junkie mother who was never there and an alcoholic dad, violet and her siblings fiona, lip, ian, debbie, carl and liam have to survive this shit on their own, but that's not easy...
