Dear Mom,
I didn't get to finish writing to you yesterday. I was writing while I was at work because I knew it was going to be a slow day. It actually went by pretty fast. I worked with Avery which I always enjoy. I can talk to her the easiest out of all of my coworkers because she is the last person to judge me. You'd like her, I think. Anyway, I'm at work again. I just now decided to make this into a Wattpad book. We'll see how it goes. I hope you don't mind. I don't think you would. Who knows, maybe it could make me famous. I doubt it though lol. This is my 8th day in a row working. I work full-time at the hardware store and I just started working for Frieda's mom at the flower shop last week. I'll only work there Mondays and Wednesdays. She needs me really badly. I guess someone was coming in on Saturday to look at the store because she wants to sell it. I don't blame her. She's getting older and has been through a lot recently from what I've heard. She's hard to work for, but only because she's hard on someone when they make a mistake. Which, is actually a good thing because I know I'll never make that mistake again so I don't get yelled at for it. I've only worked for her for two days so far. I mostly make deliveries, which I enjoy. I love to drive, but I'm sure you knew that. I miss our drives to Pittsburgh. They were my favorite. I can't remember what I was talking about yesterday. Probably Mackenzie. I wish you were here so you could meet her. As I probably already said, you would love her. Anyway. I miss you very much. I'm working nine hours today. I worked nine on Friday, too. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I'm used to only working seven hours. My feet hurt so bad every day. Especially when I'm standing here doing absolutely nothing. Don't get me wrong, I love working here more than anything, I just wish there was more for me to do. I've been working on cleaning the shelves for a month or two now. They really need it and no one else is gonna do it, plus it keeps me busy. I don't think I told you I started going to school. I might've, but I don't have my other letters to look back on right now. Anyway, I go to Northwestern Technological Institute. Sounds fancy, right? It's a trade school for HVAC (Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning). I never saw myself doing something like this. Turns out, I'm pretty good at it so far. It's funny because right before I met Kenzie, I pictured my life in the military for a split second. Janey mentioned it to me once and I was like, "what if?" I feel like it would be the easiest thing for me. But now that I met Kenzie, I have no interest in that because I want to build a life with her. There are seven or eight classes in the HVAC and each class is 20 days long. It doesn't give anyone much time to learn much in detail, but it all ties together in the end I guess. I did air conditioning and now I am on electrical. Electrical is much harder and more extensive than AC, but it is what it is. The teacher doesn't make it any better. He's just a crabby old man that clearly hates his life. There's a kid in my class that I sit beside and we always end up working together. I say a kid, but I feel like he's somewhere in his 30's. I also think he has a little crush on me, too. Which is flattering, but really gross. Any time I would dress up in the AC class, he would tell me that I was looking good. I'm gonna be graduating on October 3rd, 2023, so this year. A month before my birthday. I'll graduate with four national certificates, which is pretty neat. I guess the day I graduate, I'm legally allowed to work. I already got one certification. It's so that I am allowed to carry refrigerant, which is used in AC systems. Basically, it's in a propane-like tank and it goes in the system in a moderate amount. It gets really cold and attracts the hot air inside of a house so that the air can be pulled through the system. Not that it matters to you haha. So, I didn't really think this whole idea through. It's basically going to be like a diary, except everyone can read it. But that's fine, honestly. It's not going to matter. These are the things I would love to tell you, but can't. And I think it's a really good idea to write you letters even though I know they are never going to reach you. Maybe this can inspire other people who have lost a parent or someone close to them. Writing to you is such a good relief from all the things I want to tell you. It does appease the need to talk to you that much, but it's the best I have right now. In a way, I feel like you died before you actually died. My "mother" did anyway. I feel like I never really had a mother. You were more of a best friend to me. Especially when I started getting older. But, I still turned out to be a good kid. At least I think so lol. I don't mean that in a way to hurt your feelings, either. I understand the things you went through and the toll that probably had on you. I wish we could have talked more about your past. I feel like I don't know as much as I would like to. Now that I am working with Sue, I've been wanting to ask her some questions about you and the family. She told me that she and papa never really saw eye to eye on a lot of things, which I believe. I'm sure he's a hard person for anyone to get along with. She also said she moved away because she couldn't stand to be there anymore, which I00% understand. That's a big reason why I left, too. My feet have been hurting so badly every single day. I hope I have a lot of deliveries tomorrow so that I can stay off my feet for the most part. I'm sure you understand the foot pain. I remember you were constantly on your feet at the nursing home. It doesn't help that I don't have a good pair of shoes to wear. Recently I've been thinking a lot about how I wish you were still here. But then, a small part of me is telling me so many things would not have happened. Anyway, I'm tired. Goodnight, I love you. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.
Love, Madison
