Places We Keep Our Sins

7 - Lost

Y/N rubbed her fingers together, the feeling of the jewels still on her skin.

She was known for her stealth. It was the only reason Yoongi hadn't killed her the moment he learned she was a woman. She had convinced him that she was better at stealth than most men under his command, and that a woman on his side could get into places a man couldn't. She could still feel his tight grip on her hair as he told her to prove herself if she wanted to save her skin... and she had spent the last year doing just that. Keeping her identity a secret from the others in the Fallen temple was only to show off her skills. It had never been Yoongi's requirement, but he found it impressive, and that was enough to continue to do it.

Because of this, she practiced stealing and stealth more than anyone. She was incredibly disciplined and rigorous about it. That's what made her the best.

But this teacher – Jimin, was it? – saw through her in a moment.

Additionally, the man who chased her at the festival was also aware of her thievery. Two instances. Was she slipping? Were her skills deteriorating?

That couldn't happen. She would die that way.

"Where are you going?" Ningyi asked.

Y/N blinked, realizing that she was turning down a different path than her sister.

"I'll be there in a little while," Y/N said flatly.

Ningyi tsked. "Running off again? Typical."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like." Ningyi shrugged. "You're rarely home for dinner. You never come to temple classes. When our family goes out together, you always have something you need to take care of. You avoid us as much as possible."

"It's not like that."

"Are you embarrassed by your broke, lower-class family?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what?"

Y/N clenched her jaw. You moron. When I'm exiled or killed for my sins, I don't want any of you to come with me.

But she couldn't say that. Especially not here.

"I'm not running away," Y/N said after a deep breath. "I just want to see the gardens." She swallowed. "They were Father's favorite."

Ningyi's shoulders slumped. She chewed her bottom lip – something Y/N knew to be a sign of embarrassment.

"Oh," Ningyi said. "Then I'll see you in a little bit."

Y/N reached a hand out to touch her sister's arm, but pulled back before completing the action. Instead, she pointed behind her, towards the gardens.

"Do... do you want to come with me?" Y/N asked.

Ningyi looked over to the gardens, then back at Y/N, shaking her hand.

"You go ahead," Ningyi said, her voice soft and weak.

Y/N opened her mouth to say something – anything – to stop her sister, but nothing came to her throat. With her heart heavier than normal, she walked towards the gardens.

She hadn't been lying. The gardens of the temple really were their father's favorite part of the temple. She could still hear him whistling the old temple hymn, his hands clasped behind his back as he browsed the blossoming roses, the yellow wildflowers, the long reeds, and floating lotus flowers. Every flower of the temple held a piece of her father in it.

His funeral was the last time she had set foot on temple grounds.

The gardens were near the back exit, towards the forests that surrounded the temple. There was a wall around the temple for the safety of the royal family, but part of the forest was still within the walls. There were high trees, shading the large koi pond in the center of the garden; rows upon rows of flowers planted next to the beaten dirt path. Y/N vaguely remembered large temple events – performances, picnics, services – held at the gardens.