I, Love

48 - A Moment In Time

Ben's POV

I accepted the pizza and brought it into the living room, while Jennifer got us some water.
I sat on the couch, put a blanked over me and placed the pizza box on my lap.

Jen came back with the water and placed it on the table. She smiled at me.
Suddenly her facial expression changed. She made a painful face followed by a strangely sounding „Oh", then put one hand on her belly, and the other one on her mouth.

She ran to the bathroom. My poor baby, we thought the sickness had gone better but obviously, it didn't.

I left her alone, because throwing up was a regular thing to happen and she preferred to be alone.

I checked the movies we had on our list when I heard her screaming shrill and panicky.

„BEEN!"

The sound of her voice send chills through my whole body and shook me to my core.

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Jen was sitting on the toilet with a look on her face I had never seen before and I'd never forget.
There was blood in front of the toilet, inside her pants and on her shaking hands. She looked like she was in a lot of pain so I rushed to her side.

„Baby... what?", I asked shocked.
„I'm losing the baby.", she said with a calmer voice than I expected her to.
„I'll call Dr. Liebermann!", it was the first thing that came through my mind.

Jennifer was holding her belly and it looked like she was cramping. She only nodded, clenched her teeth and closed her eyes while she groaned in pain. Her free hand grabbed my shoulders.

My phone was in my pocked so I called Dr. Liebermann, while Jen tried to cope with the pain.

Jennifer's POV

I've never been in so much pain and I've never been so scared in my whole life.
I don't think it made any sense calling Dr. Liebermann, but I had hope so I let him.

I heard Ben explaining the situation and asking Dr. Liebermann to come over.

„He'll be here in half an hour.", he said and pulled my head on his chest.

Tears were rolling down my face.
„Is there anything we can do?", I asked Ben.
He hesitated to answer me and I knew there was nothing we could do to stop it. I was shattered and it felt like being in the worst nightmare I ever had. And I prayed it was. I prayed I would wake up and everything would be perfectly fine, because this can't happen, right? It can't.

„He said you should do whatever feels best for you."

„I wanna lie down.", I said, because I felt weak and I didn't wanted to sit on the toilet anymore. Ben helped me up and pulled down my pants, then gave me a wet towel to clean myself. I was still bleeding, cramping and in pain, so I had trouble standing right.

Ben gave me another towel to wrap around my waist, carried me upstairs and made me sit on the bed as he got a few more towels out of the bathroom here. He placed them on the bed so I could lie on them. I laid down and Ben laid next to me, holding me and my hands. He supported me with every cramp, and in all my pain the best way he could.

I felt so lost and still wasn't able to fully grasp what was happening.

Dr. Liebermann rang and Ben left my side for the first time since I called him into the bathroom. I thought about how happy he was that I was pregnant and how shattered he must be now.

Dr. Liebermann entered the room alongside Ben. He checked my vitals, then asked me what exactly happened and I explained the pain as best as I could.

„Ms. Lopez, your vitals are good but I'm sorry to tell you that you're having a miscarriage.", he said and put his hand on my arm.

I already knew what he was telling me, but hearing him speak it out loud made my heart drop.

„Is there any hope?", I asked him quietly.

„Not from what I see and heard. I have an ultrasound device with me and I can check if you want me to. But there's nothing we can do to stop it, at this point."

I looked at Ben. He stood next to the bed and had his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked so worried.

„That's up to you.", he said.
I looked at Dr. Liebermann and nodded.

„Okay, it will hurt. Have you taken any pain killers?", he asked.
I shook my head.
„You can if you want to."
„Mr. Affleck, can you come and hold her hand? She'll need it."
Ben rushed to my side while Dr. Liebermann prepared everything.

„Okay. Breathe.", Dr. Liebermann said to me and I felt the cold device pressing against my opening.
I took a deep breath and screamed a little as I grabbed Ben's arm tight and buried my head in his chest. It hurt badly.

Ben's POV

I barely could stand her screaming and seeing her in so much pain. I felt like I had to be strong  for her while all I wanted to do was cry.

Dr. Liebermann showed us the monitor.
It showed a black oval with nothing in it.
„I'm deeply sorry.", he said. „I can't find a baby anymore."

Jennifer clawed her hands even harder into my arm. She whimpered as Dr. Liebermann pulled the device out. There was a lot of blood on it.

„It could take a while until everything is out. You'll experience contractions similar to birth. The bleeding shouldn't get any heavier than this. If it does, call an ambulance. I'll come and check on you again tomorrow, alright? Take painkillers, if you need to. Seriously. I left you some pads, for the bleeding. Again, I'm really sorry.", he said. „I'll find my way out."

„Thank you.", I whispered and he left the room.

Jennifer started crying and sobbing and I just held her as tight as I could.

The next 4 hours were filled with crying and cramping, and she did it so well.

I asked her if she wanted painkillers but she declined. She said she wanted to feel it.

After those intense 4 hours it got a little better. And it got quiet.
„Are you hungry?", I asked her.
She shook her head.
„Thirsty.", she said.
I noticed her water on her nightstand was empty.
„I'll get you something."

I walked downstairs and into the living room.
The blanked was still on the couch, the TV had the screensaver on, our water was on the table, the pizza box on the couch and the little baby socks Jennifer found so cute were on the floor.

It was the image of what used to be. The image of a happy dream, suddenly and merciless ripped away from us within the blink of an eye. I broke down on the floor and cried.