Locked and Loaded: A Jay Halstead Fanfiction

Chapter 55

I absolutely adored my baby girl, but I was also very tired. Even though I was on maternity leave from work, being a mom doesn't take a break. Jay was working and our nanny would drive the kids to and from school. I was purely exhausted and when the kiddos got home I got the boys in the playroom, playing quietly and Skylar was working on her homework in the living room.

"Mama! I have a crisis!" Skylar came running into my room and with that, Nova was awake.

I sighed, picked up my girl and began breast feeding her before turning my attention to Skylar, "We can't have a crisis- My schedule is already full....what's up sweetheart?"

"My brain isn't letting me focus and read this book for 20 minutes like I have to. Can I read it out loud to you so I focus on it?"

"Uh yeah, sure sweetheart."

Almost two hours later, Jay came home with pizza he had picked up for dinner. He held Nova while we all ate at the table. After dinner I bathed Ryder and got him changed and in bed. Then I checked in to make sure Ashton and Skylar were getting ready for bed. Jay had cleaned up dinner, loaded the dishwasher, and was taking care of Nova.

When I came into our bedroom, Jay was sitting in our bed. Nova was asleep in her bassinet. The kids were all tucked in for the night and Nova was asleep in her bassinet. I had changed into one of Jay's t-shirts and climbed into bed. His arms wrapped around my waist lovingly. Just as I had gotten comfortable, Nova began to wail. A little sob slipped past my as I picked myself up and sat up in bed.

"Babe, I can get her," Jay spoke up, sitting up beside me.

"No,I got this," I spoke with tears in my eyes, running down my cheeks.

"Hey, hey...You just lay back, I'll get her," he said as he noticed by tears and gently pushed my back so I laid against the headboard.

He stood up and scooped up our baby girl in his arms before joining me on the bed. As she laid against his bare chest, she soothed herself back to sleep.

"Babe, what's going on?

"I'm just so tired and I feel like I'm failing the kids. I mean everybody has a crisis they need me to solve and Nova clearly may have colic. I just, I can't do this Jay!" I cried as he wrapped his free arm around me and I wept into chest.

"Harley, you are an outstanding mother. What can I do to help you? Have you spoken to your doctor about these feelings?"

"I have Nova's check up and my check up appointments tomorrow, so I can ask her then. I-I think it might be post partum depression? It's just really hard right now Jay."

"I'm here for you baby, I promise. And I'll try to get out of work early, so I am here to help with the kids sooner. Maybe we should even have the nanny come two days a week to be with the baby so you can take care of yourself and be able to have some self care time."

"That might not be a bad idea. Thank you for understanding..." I smiled, tucking myself into his side as I gazed at our little girl in his other arm, "She is pretty adorable though."

"Yeah she is, just like her mama."

Jay pressed a tender kiss to my lips before carefully getting up and placing Nova back in her bassinet. I cozied myself back under the blankets and felt Jay cuddling me from behind. I finally felt relaxed and was ready to get some sleep before Nova woke me up again.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

***

By the time the holiday season came and went, I had a 3 and a half month old. Nova truly was the prettiest baby ever. Plus it was nice for Jay and I to have the experience of a baby girl under more stable circumstances than when we had Skylar years ago. My doctor had put me on anti-depressants to help with my PPD and thankfully I was doing well enough now to get off of them.

Jay and I walked into the district together with him wearing the chest carrier containing Nova. Our nanny was sick, so we had to take her with us until we found a sitter.

"Bring your baby to work day?" teased Adam as Jay rolled his eyes.

"Hey I'm rocking this chest carrier," he joked with a serious expression, "But no, nanny has the flu. Harley just called around, Sylvie Brett's gonna take her for the day. She'll be here in less than an hour."

"Fine by me," Voight okayed thankfully.

With that we got to work. I'm not going to lie, it was kind of hot to watch him work with our sleeping baby girl in the chest carrier he was wearing. Jay was such an attentive father to all four of our kids which is something I wasn't used to since I didn't grow up with one myself...and it made me love him even more.

Just as we were pulling a suspect, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I turned to see Sylvie's bubbly smile rounding the corner up the stairs.

"Sylvie!" I greeted, standing up to wrap her in a hug.

"Hey! I'm here for the cutest little baby," Sylvie winked.

"Thank you so much for taking her today. We'll pick her up after getting the kids."

"No worries. We'll just be at the house so come whenever. Besides Becca is gonna be excited to see her when she gets home."

Jay carefully took Nova out of the carrier and buckled her into her infant carrier. I snagged the diaper bag and gave Sylvie the low down before handing it over.

"Baby baby girl!" I blew a kiss, "Thanks again Sylvie."

"No problem!"

"Bye princess," Jay smiled and waved as Sylvie walked and disappeared down the steps, "God we make cute babies."

"That we do...that we do."