Changed Me ( Rewritten)

22

            The entire ride back to his house is silent. It's as if his mother and NuNew are giving him time to try and calm down from everything that's happened. Which if he's honest, he doesn't really feel as if he needs it anymore. He's cried and panicked way to much today. He really just wants to feel ok.

            When they reach his house, he simply gets out of the car and heads towards his room. Where he quickly sits down on his bed. " Nat, are you ok " NuNew asks concerned, standing in front of him. " I'm fine. I think I just want to be alone for a while. Sorry " he says quietly. " Don't be. I'll let your mom and the others know. If you need me at all, just call me " NuNew says.

He tells NuNew " Thank you " before watching him leave the room. Once he's alone, he's able to get lost in his thoughts. His mind drifts off to Kit, Aek and Copter. How they would always bully him for his sexuality. They all hate him so much. But now. Now it's different.

            When and where did things change. What happed for Aek to feel this way towards him. Does Kit and Copter even know that Aek isn't straight. He doesn't understand. Why did this happen to him. Why did Aek try to do all of these things to him. Why couldn't Aek just accept the fact that he didn't want any of these things to happen to him. That he doesn't like him.

If he had to choose between everything that happened or getting beat up badly instead. He'd choose to get beat up. At least by getting beaten up, he only has to wait for his injuries to heal. With everything that's happened. He's forced to get the police involved, left with nightmares and has caused everyone to worry a lot. Besides all of those things, he has to heal both physically and mentally.

The world feels to cruel to him. This past year for him has been nothing but a constant struggle. The only good things that have happened this past year is getting close with Max, Zee and Poppy. As well as starting to date Max. Besides that, It's been nothing but suffering.

When did it all start. Where did everything start to go downhill. What went wrong. He searches his head for any memory that sticks out. He even searches his entire room for some type of clue. If he finds the cause, he can get rid of it. If he does that then maybe. Just maybe things can get better.

He looks for so long. Until his eyes land on one of the several paintings hung up on his wall. Causing one single memory to come rushing into his head. " The painting. Ever since I won that art contest, everything's gone downhill. It's because of my art " he says as he starts to cry.

All this time he's thought that his art has been helping him. That it was a way to help him release his emotions. When it's been the complete opposite. His art has brought him nothing but suffering. It's taken his father from him. Caused himself a severe injury. The bullying turned physical. Aek touched him and assaulted him. Aek strangled him and almost caused him brain damage.

            So much suffering and it's all because of his art. " Get rid of it " he says harshly. " I need to fucking get rid of it all " he shouts harshly before he starts to tear down all of his drawing and paintings that cover his walls. Hours upon hours of his time he spent on causing himself to suffer more.

            Once he's done tearing everything off of his walls, he starts to quickly throw all of his sketchbooks and art supplies off of his desk and bookshelf. By the time he's finished, his room is a complete mess. Even then he knows he hasn't gotten rid of it all. He hasn't gotten rid of the main art piece to cause it all.

            He quickly slams his door open before rushing downstairs. He ignores the way his body feels extremely weak. Even ignoring the raging headache he has from crying so much. None of that matters. He needs to get rid of and destroy the main cause. He needs to destroy it before it can cause any more suffering.

            Rushing into the kitchen, he grabs the first knife he sees. He then rushes into the living room and stands in front of the painting. The same painting that his father was so proud of him for making. " I'm sorry " he says as he holds the knife up, getting ready to cut the painting.

            " I'm sorry! You loved it so much! But it caused your death and even more suffering " he shouts. His hand is shaking. He doesn't want to destroy it. It reminds him that his father is proud of him. Yet, he needs to. In order to prevent more suffering.

            He grips tightly onto the knife before he reaches forward to cut the painting. However, just before he cuts the painting. A pair of arms wrap around him. " Let me go " he cries out as he struggles to get free. " Nat! Baby. What are you doing " he hears Max say worriedly.

            " I need to destroy it! It's causing me to suffer! My art causes nothing but suffering " he cries out. " That's not true Nat " Max says quickly. " It all started with this fucking painting! Because of it! My dad died " he screams. " Baby, listen to me. That's not true. You're having a breakdown. None of it's true " Max says quickly.

            " I want it to end! I want the suffering to end  " he cries out. " It will baby. It will " Max says. " I-It won't get better " he cries out as he falls to the floor. Max gets down on the floor with him as well before tossing the knife away from them.

            Once the knife is away from them, Max pulls him onto his lap, wrapping his arms around him tightly. They stay like this for an hour. Max whispers nothing but constant reassurances to him as he cries. Max doesn't stop until he's stopped crying.

            When he's calmed down enough, he slowly realizes everything that he's just done. He doesn't understand why he went and immediately started to destroy all of his drawings and paintings. He doesn't even know why he blamed everything on his art. It doesn't make sense. How could his art cause so many problems.

            " Thank you for stopping me " he whispers quietly. He's so grateful that Max had appeared in time to stop him from ruining the painting. The last painting of his that his father got to see. The painting that made his father so proud of him. " You don't have to thank me baby. I'm helping you " Max says in the most gentle tone he's ever heard him speak in.

            " I just. My thoughts got out of control. I don't know why I did everything " he says quietly. " Everything? What else happened " Max asks gently. " My room is a mess " he replies. Max gently rubs his head. " Let's call the others. It's only 8:00pm. So they should be able to come. I think it'll help you more to have everyone here with you " Max says.

            " It's 8:00pm already " he asks confused. How long had he been thinking for. " Yes it is. I'll call NuNew and then we can stay here tell they come " Max says. " Ok " he says quietly as he leans into Max's chest. He sits quietly as Max pulls out his phone and calls NuNew.

            It rings for a little bit, but eventually NuNew picks up. " Hey NuNew. I need you to get the others and then come to Nat's house " Max says. He's unable to hear NuNew but he knows that NuNew is probably going to worry a lot. " There's no need to panic. He's safe and right here with me. I was able to help him calm down. I just think it'll help him to have everyone here " Max then says.

            " Alright. Come right in the house. We'll be in the living room " Max says before the call ends. Once the call is over, Max sets his phone off to the side before wrapping his arms around him again. " They'll be here soon. Then we can all have a talk and try to help you through whatever this is, ok " Max says gently.

            He takes a deep breath before quietly saying " Ok ". Max starts to gently rub his head, comforting him. " I love you baby " Max says. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. " I love you to " he says quietly. The rest of the time that they wait for the others to arrive, is spent in a comforting silence.

                WC: 1482