Ishq ka Raang Safed Piya

16.Milan Yamini

Shehnaaz's POV

"Kitni roushani hai yahan!...jarurat se jyada...jaise koi diwali ho....par diwali ki raushani kitni acchi lagti hai na...jaise sare andhere ko door karta....wo cheer kar aata ujala raushan kar deta hai sab....".

"Haan aur ye raushani to aur bhi khoobsurat hai...dekho to jara...tumhari shadi ke reception ke anginat(uncountable) rang birange jagmagate(sparkling) chhote chhote lights.

Shehnaaz looked at at the fairy lights some blinking and some cascading on the roof and everywhere around for their wedding reception from the glass window of her room.

She was talking to her inner self as she stood in her room in her same reception attire...well waiting for Sidharth!..no his husband...it was the time for their first night as everyone said so and left her alone giving her alot  of advices,instrustions,warnings also..with a big to not and to do list..precautionary warning.....and she was supposed to abide by them all as a dutiful wife,daughter and daughter in law of the house.

Ideally she have to consummate her marriage today,satisfy and satiate her husband's physical,mental and emotional needs...mostly physical off course...yeah..physical only..emotional need ..well there doesn't existed a term like that ..right?..so yes only physical need!...Her mind corrected her...and also bear all the consequences of having sex..that is pain, discomfort,displeasure ,may be humiliation and yes a child after that....in course of this  marriage..and she is not the only one in this phase ..every one on this earth is here for the same...the same cycle of marriage,sex,child then few more child ,bringing up those child,family ,responsibilities etc etc like she ,we all are was raised and brought up into this world by our and her parents ...by off course having sex...sabne to kiya hai.... sex!... hai na!!

A child is outcome of sex ...isn't it?...Right na!..Her conscience argued...They say it is need of body and mind too in marriage it works like that her mind confirmed it again.

We may term it as love,duty ,helplessness at times,wanted or unwanted,obligation, with or without love ,a child is a product of a wedlock and that is fact!!...so yeah..it is all..what it is...the biggest job and work to fulfil the need and demand of life...

Sex ! the word itself makes her uncomfortable to think off,shy may be and fearful too,being an introvert she had never talked or discussed her self such things ever..never uttered those 3 letter word sex from her own mouth whose meaning  she had not known,heard or she had never paid attention to was this ..SEX before few days ,before few days she didn't knew what means doing SEX and involved in any such kind of thing was this ,and now the only thing she is emphasizing is also SEX!!the basic need of a man and a women too...and she wondered does it is need of a women too!?..Really!?..but how!?..as she has indirectly been taught verbally before starting her new life by Shagun in very brief and more precisely she came to know it as she has heard her few married friends talking about it back few months ago in college..

Her 2 of the classmates were married already and had started their new life just like her ,the only difference was they were happy ,excited ,thrilled for their first night but here she was not...exactly opposite of their married friends,she cursed herself for being like that.

"hayee dar to bahut laga ki kya hoga nahi hoga...kahin bahut jyada dard na jhelna pade...aur kahin...kya hi bataye...par ek baar jab batti gul hui...unhone lights off kiye aur khud chalu hue sara darr dhapak se gayab..aur fir aisa laga hum doob jaye us dard me...bole nahi par hum ko to bahut accha laga..laga yahi hai pyar jo bhi hai.. jhuth nahi bolenge".Her friend has told shyly.

Shehnaaz have heard her those friends laughing hard over such talks.. ,shying but discussing their own first night and sharing it's experience with other girls and several nights after that as if it was some interesting,funny ,adventurous ride tale to share...which she felt was utter nonsense to share to others..so so obnoxious ,derogatory and degrading and shameful to share one's bedroom business to someone else.