Ishq ka Raang Safed Piya

18.Purvagrah

Mother!!

The source of light and warmth every human seek for ,when we just see darkness all around..mother the most loving part and memory of our life ever since we grow into life from a fetus...

Mother!!

The only human who understands our every feeling and emotions without any language and without uttering a single word...even our blabbers.Blessed are those who have mother with them in every walk of life.

Shehnaaz too felt and seeked that warmth and love of her mother every day..every minute of her life...but her poor fate..she was deprived of that mother's love...the reason she was whatever right now in this dark night is her mother...!

She missed her mother too much for an unknown reasons tonight,reason, no reasons only known to her..but then there is not any particular reason to miss anyone especially those who are very closed and integral part of your life.Right!!

And so that longing ,that warmth she always missed came on her lips into a light whimper calling for her mother..which he in his light sleep comprehended,heard,felt ,knew,understood ,empathised and just like that Sidharth engulfed her in his embrace into a tight hug giving that forlorn warmth to Shehnaaz.

"Maa ki yaad aa rahi hai na?".

He asked engulfing her in a back hug tightly ,wondering had he ever hugged anyone so intimately¡?..The answer came...no never!!!

Then no one ever was his wife, no one was rightfully lawfully close to him..he was legitimately ought to hug her,touch her every where,feel her,kiss her and even make her his in every true sense by making love,lust,sex whatever....that feeling of being her man lawfully,that manly pride..that belongingness  kicked him hard again...but he surrendered to those claims the very same moment...giving his mind with scores of excuses....like...he may be close to few..ok many may be.. but not this much close where in her every single action was gripping him so hard over myriad of emotions...but then he concluded on an agreement that ..Shehnaaz!!..he had a different feeling towards her and that was absolutely fine.

He was surprised why his actions are entirely different with Shehnaaz?! Why is he bothered about her tears ..he had never been so sensitive about about girls..where in he always believed either girls are extra sensitive,emotional and cry on every lame things like a cry baby complaining on every petty issues or else they are very very strong like the ladies of his house,like very few females from his field,..a few ladies he has met in their NGO and everywhere.....most of them were introvert,fearful,nagging etc or else very strong headed,leader,manager & courageous whom he ideolised and liked always.. but there were very few women with such traits in the era he lived then.

BUT Shehnaaz ...she was emotional,sensitive,fragile and delicate may be as he had guessed since knowing,also an over thinker,over sensitive and intellectual at times ,he figured about her, but she had a very different kind of strength...very peculiar he knew! and that strength,vulnerable weak side of her,defenseless yet susceptible trait of her attracted him the most...like a beautiful spellbound MYSTERY!!

Shehnaaz!!...An enigmatic ,magical Mystery!Very uncanny!...alot yet to know about her and he was super curious to know her...Sometime either he did not knew her at all or sometimes he knew everything about her so well...and there was alot between that knowing and not knowing her,a very thin line of known & Unknown of Shehnaaz, which he felt pulled him so strongly every time,with that invisible thread of hope,quest,uncovering more like covert operations in which he had expertise and which he wanted to win and ace every time..and there was more to know about her ,more than he knew about her till now...

"Shehnaaz...kya hua..are you missing your mother?".He asked again and again to his silent wife who acted as mute one .

He tightened his hold on her keeping his chin on her head ,the smell of her hair shampoo mixed with the dozens of flower petals stuck on her silky hair hypnotised him and he dug his head deep down in her crook and  in her mane holding her hands .capturing her small fist kept on her bosoms touching them over her saree lightly but intricately...he felt he is in some heaven and will always be there itself but to his surprise his hands struck few tears and then many tear drops filled his back palm ..she was crying silently now,not a single single sob and sniffling sound came out of her mouth but she was jiggling in his arms ,resisting his hold ...It hurted his self respect..may be male ego for sure!!..But he kept calm and asked her again.