Ishq ka Raang Safed Piya

46.Grih Yudh

Ignore mistakes..not edited.

Sidharth marched pacing up in the empty room with rageful face and a very hurtful heart....he was fuming and his temper was rising only high like a burning iron rod...he tried the phone again despite she has cut her phone on the first place,her audacity was pissing him off so much......and she did not picked up the phone again ending the conversation from her side acting like a stubborn stupid  mindless women..who acts upon impulse and by her either heart or brain immaturely both at the wrong time and wrong combination....calling her again and again, he did not wanted to disturb and stress his family members any more ,being all of them in old age as it was very very late for the night also this matter was entirely very personal for both of them and he did not wanted any interference in this...enough of her tantrums...she is seeping as if nothing happened?...but his sleep was very far for a personal reason for the first time...

"How dare she?".He flared his nose...thinking on her thought....she was talking like a mad women...anything...non sense...utterly rubbish...gibberish..bizarre and insane...she herself probably does not know what she was speaking perhaps....that is why they say...marry a women not a girl at heart...and she is exactly that...you made a mistake?..the thought irritated him.

"Ye sab aapki wajah se hua hai...aap...aapne kiya ye?...hum kabhi nahi chahte the ye....ye sab...aapki galti ki saja ab hume bhugatni padegi...?par nahi...hargiz nahi..".

"Hum kuch kehte nahi iska matlab kya?...aap apni jor jabardashti chalayenge hamesha....aapne kiya ye humare sath..".

"What...maine tum se kabhi koi jabardashti nahi ki?...jo hua hum dono ki marzi se hua...what are you talking  even?...watch out your words Shehnaaz...nihayati ghatiya bakwas hai yeh.....you are blaming me for a mistake which I have not done even...and even it is not a mistake...we are married and are in a legal consensual relationship..so watch out your language..understood!".

"Jyada english ke terms jharne se sacchayi nahi badal jati hai Sidharth.....jabardashti nahi kiye!.theek!...par aapne ek baar bhi poocha?..humari kya marzi hai...har baar ? .....tumko chahiye ye baccha...?ready ho aage bacche ke liye?...pooche aap?....aap to jante the na hum shadi ke liye ready nahi the pehle kam age..ya shadi na karne ka mann jo bhi tha...sab jaldi jaldi ho gaya...humri marzi ke khilaf..beman se..par hum accept kiye na aapko dil se..aapki life,aapke taur tareeke...aapki naukri aur aapka sare commitments..aapka na aana ,itne itne dino ki gair namajudagi aur humare sath hamesha na rehna ..fir bhi khush hona seekh liye na jo jitna mila...  ...humko cheejein accept karne me time lagta hai...hai hum mand buddhi..jatil(difficult)..kya kare?...kya kehte hai...haan isliye for granted lete hai na aap?...nahi?...jaise aap taiyar the ...par hum nahi hai na ready Sidharth?...nahi chahiye tha ye pregnancy humko abhi..itni jaldi to kabhi nahi...aage bahut saalon tak nahi...jab tak hum khuid apni jindagi me sambhal jaye..kuch ban jaye...nahi chahiye.....kya humari marzi mayne nahi rakhti?...".Shehnaaz spoke in frustration keeping her haplessness feeling  aside.

Does one needs to ask even before impregnating his own wife?..or initiating sex..is consent that important?...He started self doubting himself...his intent....though he understood willingness is important  but upto what extent?..or he misinterpreted her silence as her 'will'?..

Is he not rightful to do whatever he likes and wishes with her own wife....it is like this only...then why and how is he different from others?!

He has not imposed on her in literal meaning neither she was terming it as rape or forcing him on her but consent was important..yes!..ethically and morally off course.....but wasn't he was sorry and felt guilty the next day when he came into his senses for what he did with her for the first time they had sex..precisely without any protection,preparation from her side and her consent as well.....but is saying sorry was enough?...when 2 people are involved in one relationship which feels beautiful..or is it so..?is it always enough?..a sorry?...just a sorry?..is that so easy?..to correct mistakes always?...and for what?..what is wrong in that?...he belonged to an era and a large pool of men who does not considered taking consent of wives before initiating sex or advantages...it is their legal and mental right after all!...and they can never admit it as part of satisfying their own ego and pride both.