Harry Potter in Time but He's a Stoner

Teased by a hat.

The doors to the great hall were looming as Harry remembered but to be fair it hadn't exactly been long since he'd seen them. They did have a more familial feel to them though. Must be something about the 60s. 

Now, people. Yes, people. People people people. There was lots and lots and lots of people. If there was one thing Harry appreciated about the 60s was the lack of eyes on him because he didn't exist yet, but now, walking into a room full of teens he'd never met (including his 17 year old parents and god-parents) Harry was just bound to feel a little queezy. Just a little. But, Harry was a big strong manly tall teenager (he wasn't that tall) who had faced a baldy bitch several times since he was 11 so facing a room full of kids should be fine. He thinks. 

They reach the podium and Dumbledore clears his throat and clinks his glass. If they weren't looking at Harry before they definatly were now. Dumbledore began to speak more composed then when he 'first' met Harry. "This young boy is Harry Dursley, he is a transfer going into 6th year I expect you all to treat him with the upmost respect and kindness as you would show your fellow classmates. Please do be respectful for his sorting ceremony. As for the first years, welcome to Hogwarts. Safety will always be prioritised for our students-" A snort interrupted his speech as he turned to face non-other-than Harry Potter covering his face as he was trying to hold in his laughter. He wiped a few stray tears saying "Sorry sorry go on I'll take a minute." and he turned to face away from the old man as he was stood behind him for everyone to see his laughing fest.

"Right, well as I was saying safety will always be prioritised for our students and I hope that Hogwarts becomes like a second home for all that do not already see it as such." Dumbledore ended his speech as Harry turned back around, his face red from holding in his laughter too much. "Are you ready for you're sorting Mr. Dursley?" Dumbledore gestured toward the seat where a certain mind-reading hat hovered next to it. "Ah right yes." and Harry walked down becoming suddenly aware of his surroundings again and scanning his eyes over the Gryffindor table to find his young-ass dad smiling at him. 

That encouraged him to get over his stupid fear and just sit through this damn thing. He felt a weight on his head as he sat down and suddenly realised this thing could read his thoughts. Oh shit.

"Harry Dursley? Are you really? More like Harry Potter. How did you even end up here. Wow, you're actually a bit stupid for a genius aren't you? Drugs? The bad courageous little sneak aren't you. Understandable. You've had a hard life." He was cut off.

Harry waved his hand up flicking the hat a little as people gasped at the audacity. "Yeah yeah we get it I have trauma let's get to the point." 

"Alright alright stop that." Harry did. "You have guts, and bravery. But the respect you have earned is right and just. Better be... Gryffindor!" the applause sounded and Harry heaved a sigh of relief but the hat whispered back to him, "though you'd make a fine Slytherin, you need you're parents more than you think young Harry." The hat was removed and Harry just thought about what he said. Not for long though because he quickly stood himself out of the rackety, old little chair and wobbly headed towards the Gryffindor table, full of nerves and fully prepared to talk to new people and never interact with his dead parents ever again, but obviously nothing ever went to Harry's plans and so he was quickly manhandled and ragged over to another seat. 

By Sirius Black.

"Hello mate. Welcome to the house of the lions." James slightly shouted as Harry was ragged down into a seat inbetween Peter and Sirius. 

"Glad to be here." He nervously stammered out before pouring orange juice into his glass, but with a few whispered words, Harry's drink soon turned into that of Vodka with a hint of lemon - don't tell Dean though, he'd actually murder Harry for not letting him know of the boy's genius invention. Obviously this only caught the eye of the obserever - Remus Lupin - who stared sceptically before kicking Sirius under the table for shouting with food in his mouth. Harry downed his drink in one, poured another, and once again, mentally prepared himself for the shit show ahead of him because somehow, someway, he had already managed to make friends with the closest people he had in this time period. And he knew he was going to find some way to fuck everything up.