Harry Potter in Time but He's a Stoner

Mission Impossible.

"How are we going to get in there with the blockers?" Harry smirked at Peter's question, obviously it had been logical thinking but he just couldn't take it seriously while they were all hunched in a huddle, arms round each other's shoulders and heads pressed in the middle like they were an American college football team about to go and lose some braincells by smashing into shit. The scent of fire whisky was heavy at this point, Harry having conjured up a plastic bottle with a little straw in it so he could access the drink easier - he'd also got Sirius one but his had lots of fairies and mermaids on which made James burst out into laughter. Just imagine, a boy with long, black hair, tattooed around his arms and hips as he wore chequered pyjamas and a cut up Fleetwood Mac crop shirt holding a bright pink mermaid cup filled with fire whisky. Harry was a comedic genius.  

"Right so I was thinking I could just apparate." Harry got blinked at. 

"You can't apparate in Hogwarts idiot, there's blockers for that too." Remus deadpanned and took a long sip of Sirius's drink. 

"No doy duhhh," Harry pulled a face, "I've been working on this thing - half-apparition. Basically, I'm going to stand on one side of the door and half-apparate to the other, because I won't have officially crossed the barrier , the sensor shouldn't detect me." Harry seemed so smart until Mr. Smarter (Remus Lupin) interjected. 

"Right that could work, and if it even does work, you've only briefly met Lily, the rest of the girls probably have only heard about you." 

"Yes, that's why I'm taking one of you with me. So, who'd like to volunteer." Harry grinned at them, thinking that they would jump at the chance and maybe even give him a little trophy or pat on the back for his ingenious idea. 

"Yeah, no thanks dude." Peter leaned out and so did the rest of the boys. 

"I'm with Pete on this one, there's no way I'm joining you in a bloody half-apparation when you don't know if it works." James laughed and shook his head a little. Everybody looked around as Harry's smile slowly dropped from his face. 

"I'll do it." Remus bloody Lupin! The man! The myth! The only one who's willing so Harry will take anything at this point! "Great!" Harry jumped up. "Let's get going then." 

Peter stayed behind to set up more blankets and cups, while James snuck off to get more bottles of fire whiskey - Harry had nooooo idea how he managed to manoeuvre through the castle at this time without being seen. And Remus and Sirius joined him at the door to the girls dormitory. 

"Okay so try not to get jealous," Harry looked at Sirius when he said that and the other boy just gave a confused face. He then turned to Remus, placing his hand around his waist and pulling the taller boy closer as he put his other hand on the door. He looked up at the shocked face, "I promise I don't fancy you." And on that cue, Harry began his apparition.

It was a lot of spinning for a long while until eventually, they landed safely on the ground on the other side of the door. Harry pushed away from Remus to do a quiet whisper of celebration, "Yessss! It worked!" Remus looked baffled.

"Yeah it did work... Hang on, why are you all the way over there?" Remus whispered back, slightly confused as to why Harry had made such a point to move all the way down the corridor from him. But Harry shrugged, "didn't want you to throw up on me." Remus looked offended and both boys stalked off into the girls dormitory. Despite his massive control issues, Harry let Remus lead the way, obviously the boy knew where the girls would be as he had a lot more time with them than he had. It didn't take long before they were pushing into a room occupied with three beds. 

"Wow the girls get a lot more room then we do huh." Harry sounded a bit appalled but then after remembering the shit show that had gone down between Hermione and Lavender, it made sense to have girls separated because well frankly, they could be a-class cunts to each other. Remus ignored him choosing instead to turn his focuses to the beds. He turned to the left, choosing to get the most excitable of the girls up first and Harry just followed.

"Marlene, Marlene get up." Remus whispered and the girl with bright bleached blonde hair practically shat herself when she saw Remus in the dorm. 

"Remus what the fuck!" She was quickly shushed by Harry who leaped to aggressively shake her hand with a big smile. 

"Hi hello! Great to meet you! The names Hadrian Dursley but call me Harry - everybody calls me Harry." The poor girl looked like she'd just been attacked by a pot of fucking roses and she practically had with Harry's shining and bright aura.

"Yeah hello," she pulled away.

"Your names Hadrian?!" Remus stared at the boy on the other side of the bed with a quirked eyebrow. Harry just grumbled in response, clearly not wanting to go on.

"Remus what's going on?" Marlene asked.

"Right well, we sort of got into a kerfuffle earlier and there was a snake and it was really messy but in the end none of us could sleep but we all want to get to know Hadrian more," Remus's eyes glinted, "so Pete decided on Never Have I Ever but we need more players." Remus looked at her expectantly. 

"What's in it for me?" Marlene was already in, Harry could tell and so could Remus but it didn't stop her from entertaining them a little longer. So, Harry interjected to speed things up.

"We have fire whiskey." 

"Count me in." 

Harry clapped as Marlene got out of bed and stretched, "Brilliant! Now for the other two." 

There was a low noise from the bed next to Marlene's, "The other two are already fucking awake because of how loud you lot were." Harry spied the new person and rushed to make their acquaintance because he just needed to for some reason.

"Hello to you too," he shook her hand, "Hadrian lovely to meet you, won't you join us?" 

"Mary, Mary Macdonald. Why not, I'm already awake aren't I." She shrugged and began to make her way out of bed just in time to see Harry sprinting over to Lily's bed. 

"Harry! Lily is not a morning person!" Remus warned but it didn't stop the boy from absolutely belly flopping on top of her. He was light so it didn't hurt but how in Merlin's magical powers did he get such confidence. Then Remus remembered - the fire whisky. She woke with a scream.

"Wha! Harry! What the fuck!" 

"Come on Lily were going to play Never Have I Ever!" He grinned and Marlene jumped onto her bed. 

"Yeah Lily come on!" 

Lily couldn't help but smile as both people who were crushing her showed her toothy grins. 

"Alright alright I'm coming." Remus was baffled at her response because one time when he'd woken Lily up from a nap in the library he'd nearly lost a tooth with how hard she'd punched him. But he was her best friend so he supposes the circumstances are a little different. They all began to tiptoe down out of the girls dormitory. 

"Wait," Mary stopped them, "How are we going to get into the boys dorm?" 

Harry grinned. Remus sighed. 

"I am so glad you asked!" Harry began to explain and the colour drained from each of their faces faster than you could say the word quidditch.