Hope

Dear Self

We had our activity in our final exams that included writing a letter for ourselves. So, here it is. :> After reading the letter, I found myself staring at the screen, completely beduzzled til I felt my tears falling down my cheeks.

Dear Self,

Few years ago, we thought we wouldn't make it this far. I remember crying for what seemed like forever, thinking that the world and the people are against us. I remember doubting yourself and the things that you're capable of and sabotaging yourself from your dreams and the person that you want to become 5 or 10 years from now. And now, here you are. Currently achieving your dreams, sharing the world your own story, spreading hope, using your own passion on different writing platforms hoping to change people into becoming the better version of themselves.

To the little girl in you, I want her to know that I am so proud of her and the person that she has become now. I want you to know that we may not understand things yet, but what matters is that I can see how much you want to get your desires in life and put efforts into understanding people deeply, empathizing with them, resonating with them, and being an ever compassionate person that you are because deep down, although you don't often say it to everyone, I know how much you want to reach out to those struggling to find hope in any difficult situation. I know how you try your best to understand that life has so many greater things to tell; that people are survivors of their own battles and stories; that even if you have been broken and lost and wounded, I can feel and I can see how much you want to extend your help and be a ray of hope to everyone.

And if ever you find yourself in the darkness of the paths that were once illuminated by sunshine and stars and rainbows, I sincerely hope that you find your way back again, just like how you did when everything seemed to be overwhelming by an endless sorrow. You also deserve to be understood, seen, heard, and valued for the person that you are.

I know that every day is not a sure-win battle of triumph, but I guarantee that you will win against your enemies, against those voices in your head telling and screaming at the top of their lungs to give up and that you're not capable of becoming better. I want you to know that I understand you. I hear you. And I accept you for who you are.

Be it from the day you lost a competition at school, or the day you slipped from a stair and broke your ankle and thought that you would never get into shape again, that you would no longer walk with your feet worrying about falling down the stairs and being clumsy. I am still proud of you. Be it from all the sleepless nights you get trying to force yourself to be like others, to have a strong heart, to have a personality that is not affected by any little things in the world. We are all affected. We are all damaged and trying to patch our brokenness in different possible ways. And I am still proud of you. Not just because of your perseverance and achievements both in academics and writing. it is more than just the trophies and the accolades you get when you do something good and praiseworthy. I am proud of YOU. I am proud of how you do your best to look alright, to want to wake up for another day, thinking that it will still be as tiresome as the previous days you had but still got out of bed anyway. I am proud of how you see past the imperfections and flaws of people that you pass by on the streets and those that come into your life. Indeed, there is more than what meets the eye.

We will definitely be having more and more battles to overcome in the future, but I want you to know that wherever our paths may lead us, you are still appreciated and valued more than the things you achieve and accomplish. For that inner soul in you that longs to be cared for and seen, let me tell you that she has long been seen. And I am so proud of her.