Hope

vast vessel

Healing is like an endless cycle. It will hurt you in so many ways.

i feel as though a warm gravitational force is pulling me into something deeper. something beyond my imagination.

Perhaps it's a force that pushes and pulls me when it has nothing to do but taint me with temptations and infidelity.

Perhaps it's something that tackles me, knocks me down on the floor, and hovers on top of me to show its power over a tiny bit of innocence buried in me.

a strong pull that keeps me in its proximity. only to lure me in a rotational cycle, just to hurt me in a calendar of mixed tapes, used platitudes, and an eclipse of infatuation demeanor. it's like it wants to revolve me just around its fingertips.

I feel as though I am sinking into a black hole in a vast endless universe. with no one to help me get out. clouding my mind like a nebula with all its crystal-clear colors that shine when it's about to die.

and then it all goes back to the same cycle of birthing stars, the universe expands, rocks compact, collide, connect, and form shapes, until it breaks, and dies.

And the life I grew accustomed to vanished into thin air, like dust that sweeps through a page of an unopened book.

Like a wind that shifts and dances, and sways through the window, and goes back to the air, to the sky, to the endless clouds melting its raindrops.

and the cycle just goes on and on.

and I am left.

a nobody.

a weightless speck of dust.

in the grand scheme of things, a dot.

that grows into a person with a personality molded with pain, of hellos, and goodbyes.

of rebirth and welcoming death. of grieving and moving on.
of becoming a star that shines through its complex beauty, of sadness, and of beauty spread all over its forms.

and I guess, there are wonders in an endless cycle of meeting people, having to see them walk away, and getting ready to meet the new one.

And then there's a happy ending destined to meet me at the end of the tunnel. By the time I pass these obstacles, I know there is another sun that shines just for me.

And I will cling to hope. while i'm here crawling my way out. while i'm bleeding. while i'm healing.