Hope

not like them

most of you would probably find it lame and mundane if you learn that the only thing I know as marvelous is simply ... by staying home; feeling lazy while the book is resting on my palms.

you see, i am far from what you glance at party clubs all night, jazzing up their day, cigarette smoke spitting from their mouths, inhaling the breath of burned lungs and stained teeth. I am far from what you see standing in the corner of the party room, waiting for a tall guy with pants that reeked of condoms inside; mouth licked by their tongue, enticing you to suck or spit the taste of a one-night stand. Or a take-it-or-leave-it price that screams of lust.

i am not the one that you see involving themselves in an endless social media war of brains that only function when there calls the war of words, grammar, personal attacks, tainting reputations, and immensely causing deliberate harm to the innocents.

I am far from that lady who brags about her exes and flaunts how many she tried and how many she'd trade. or how many she slept with as if having boys in the room is a guarantee of being higher or worse, in tune with the nonsense trend.

In contrast, i am a home person. a book lover. a library person. a movie lover. Lame for some, i am most certain of that. but fun to others who love silence; who breathe the air of peaceful aloneness in the abyss of words and chapters. I am a living art that forms into a human who's forever in tune with passion and purpose. a sentimental little being that keeps even the tickets from the arcade, a receipt from a restaurant date, a photograph from a candid shot by the shore, or an old petal from a bouquet of roses that you gave me that used to be so fresh and enticing.

i'm a poet. i love so deeply that you cannot find a way to resist the luring words i will write to describe what you are like; how you make me feel, what you feel like. you feel like home.

I'll give you my heart in the form of verses. i'll speak you like a voice I haven't had the chance to speak for so long. I'll chant your name in every novel about a love that is undying, endless, limitless, and powerful. i'll puff a smoke of undeniable beauty that even without a form, there can still be a way to know you. i'll get my lungs burned if it costs inhaling your scent.

you see, i am not a one-night stand type of lover who disappears after a satisfying night. i am a forever type of lover who's always there day or night. i am not a rainbow that comes up to you hiding in the guise of a storm, only to lure you into getting what i want: Sweat of panting, muscles contracting, legs tightening, lips locking. I am far from those pleasures people seek to temporarily escape from reality.

i am a writer. not a smoker. i am a poet. not a party goer. and i am not like them.