Dancing to his tunes

14|Engagement

Bia had felt extremely confused and frustrated after her encounter with Rahim. The proposal from Yazdanis had her parents elated, it was like they had hit a jackpot. However, she couldn't help but curse Rahim for it. He and his family had singlehandedly ruined the little semblance of peace that was left in her life. Her parents were pestering her to jump onto the opportunity because she a  30 year old, divorcee, who wouldn't get luckier if she rejects the proposal. The Rahim she knew as a teenager was a cute, brooding one, though she didn't think of being in a relationship with him even back then, the thought of marriage evoked ambivalent feelings in her. 

On one hand, she wanted to give the idea of marriage with him a shot because Rahim undeniably was quite a catch. He was accomplished, good looking, someone who unknowingly knew everything about her botched married life and didn't judge her like others would. She didn't know if he was a great man or not and after the betrayal of Aaron she doubted her analytical skills terribly. However, she knew he was a good psychiatrist. It could have been a great business deal. However, the thought of treating marriage like a business deal disgusted her because she didn't want to put Rahim through what Aaron put her through. She knew she wasn't ready for the commitment but she also felt like she would never be for the trauma of her past would always find ways to paralyze her. Had Rahim not been her childhood friend, she wouldn't have been in this dilemma for she would have just agreed to marry the guy. Even though she felt like she had nothing to lose as Aaron had completely stripped her, she knew she would lose a friend like Rahim and moreover, she couldn't disrepect Daniyal or his parents. She hated how she still hasn't mastered the art of only using her brain like Aaron, who in her place would have pounced on the opportunity without caring about his relations with other people. 

Bia felt like pulling her hair out because every conversation of her parents revolved around her answer. She didn't want to tell them that she was paranoid, she didn't trust Rahim to take care of her, she thought there was an ulterior motive that he had which she couldn't find out even after putting an investigator on his tail since a week. As much as she hated and dreaded doing this, she thought it was needed because she couldn't get betrayed twice.

Rahim had earnestly told her the reasons for his marriage to her when the next day she had visited his place to confront again. He had told her that he wasn't head over heel in love with her nor was he marrying her because he pitied her. He had disclosed that getting married to Bia was more of a convenient option. Since she was someone who he had known for years, so when his mother proposed the idea of it, he was mildly surprised by not against the idea of it. As they both came from a similar background and had spent quite a chunk of their childhood together, they had a lot in common. He reiterated her fears when he told her that when you come from a rich family, you barely get people who are actually sincere, most of them just want something from you, want a piece of you, loot you, use you as a means to climb the social ladder. Nobody truly want you for who you are as a person, they want you for the clout that surrounds you and that she wasn't the only one who has faced it. He too knew what it felt like to be hopeless, surrounded by the grey clouds of despair, and misery.  

He had also told her about Sadia- the girl he loved, who was a nurse in the same hospital as him, and who had died in a plane crash while she was travelling to Armenia to visit her family there. The news was a huge blow to him because they had decided to visit Pakistan after her trip to be introduced to his family. He told her how Sadia was a practicing Muslim, and was against the idea of dating and so they had decided to get married after their parents approval. However, before any of that could happen she had died and it had taken him a solid year to move on. He had told her that he had wanted to settle down himself and it wasn't just his parents pestering him to do so. That she was the only one among the potential candidates for marriage that he knew from beforehand and so it was more of a safe option to marry someone he already knew than an absolute stranger. However, he wasn't averse to the idea of arrange marriage. He had told her his expectations from the marriage and asked her think carefully before jumping to any decision. Moreover he had also assured her that their friendship and family ties wouldn't get affected in case of her rejection.