Lament of the Slave

Chapter 90: Poisonous Adventure

"Mossbears aside, have you found any other terrans, or better yet, the beasts that might be at the origin of my changes?" I asked Mr. Sandoval, the librarian, and yes. I didn't say 'mutations' on purpose. It sounded degrading. Like I still hated my body. Granted, I wasn't exactly happy with it. The no kid part was hard to get over. But the rest? Somehow, for better or worse, I've come to terms with what happened to me.

"I looked a little deeper into your wings," the old librarian said, his tone giving away he had failed to find more clues. Seeing I caught on, he added. "I'm sure the answer is in the books. It's almost always there, just to find it."

Giving him a knowing look, I fluttered my wings. "They're too plain for that. You told me last time. I got it."

"Unfortunately," he concurred.

"It can't be helped." Shame, for sure, but it was what it was. So I gave him a smile, hiding my slight disappointment with it.

The librarian returned it, gesturing to my head. "I still think your ears originated in Fennec foxes. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find more references to that rare variant I mentioned in the books."

"So it doesn't have to exist," I noted.

"I wouldn't be so hasty to dismiss it, miss." Mr. Sandoval stroked his grey beard. "There are thousands of books, bestiaries, legends, folklore, stories, journals, and more. Mention of the variant, one line or paragraph hiding among countless words covering the pages, may be in any of them or in none. It's just beyond my skills to find it."

At that, I raised my eyebrows and flicked my ears. Who else should find the information hidden in the pages of the books in this library but its librarian?

He laughed. "You give me too much credit. I'm just a simple librarian, at a mere level of seventy-six. My skills have their limits."

Breath caught in my throat. What the fuck was I doing? It wasn't the old man's fault. If anything, it was mine. He did the best he could with what little I gave him, without me even asking.

"I'm sorry, I should know better," I said, lowering my head.

"No harm done." he smiled warmly, waving me off. "I understand you. I, too, had lofty expectations in my youth. When they weren't met, it brought disappointment. It's inevitable."

Being lectured again, huh? It was wrong to think I was done learning for the day, especially since my last errand was the library.

"So?" I hummed, unsure of what to say next.

"I'd say look for fenox," he said when I revealed my cluelessness on what to do. "There's bound to be some among terrans in Castiana. Ask them, but be prepared for disappointment."

I smirked. "Or ask with low expectations."

"Or that," he nodded. "However, no matter how much you temper your expectations, when they aren't met, disappointment will always come."

That was hard to refute. It was just a matter of how big the letdown would be. Nevertheless, how the hell did we get to this depressing topic? I growled in frustration, scratching my head.

"You okay?" the librarian asked with worry in his eyes.

"Yeah," I replied with a sigh. "I am, just...sorry, forget it." There was no point in discussing it further, to reflect on my life's disappointments. Instead, I lifted Sage up and pressed him to my cheek. "Did you find anything on this boy?"

"Boy?" Mr. Sandoval wondered.

"Long story," I waved him off with my tail, unwilling to discuss my mother's death, either. He took it as it was, no matter how strange it seemed to him, and just gave me a nod while stroking his beard.