Lament of the Slave

Chapter 126: Déjà vu

Unfortunately, time was ticking down, and I only managed to kill two more horned rabbits before I had to call it a day. Even that last fight with the beast was pushing it. Seriously, because of how much longer I spent in Fallens Cry than I planned, my schedule was tighter than a bull's ass in fly season. That's what my mom used to say. She came from the countryside.

Anyway, I had a lot to get done. Earn some money, take a bath, do some laundry, and then off to Aspen for a magic lesson, so I could learn Standard from Ria afterward. But first and foremost, I had to get through Deckard's tutoring on how to skin a beast and butcher meat.

Fighting rabbits in bloody battles, I thought I was ready. Yet when Deckard skinned the beast, my stomach turned upside down, and I threw up when he started cutting the meat.

I may have ended up as a florist, and I loved greens on my plate, but I wasn't one of those all-year salad eaters. A proper steak was something I enjoyed very much every time and prepared many of them myself. Touching the meat and preparing it has never been an issue for me. So why the hell did I have to put up with Deckard's shocked face?

"Something wrong with the skewers?"

Yeah, he didn't have to remind me that what I hadn't digested of that delicious meal was now on the ground in the grass as a gross pile, despite my best efforts. I simply couldn't help it and so all I was left with was an empty stomach, nasty aftertaste in the mouth, regret in my heart and eyes wet with tears.

Spitting out the rest of the bile, I growled: "The smell, it's..."

"Strong, sure! No different from when you cut the beast with your claws, though. Plus, there's no need to gut it. That would make it much worse."

Since I was kind of lost as to why it made me sick, all I gave him was a shrug. "I-I don't know. In the heat of the fight, it's different."

"Don't worry. You're not the only one. When you fight, it's the enemy that's trying to kill you. The more it bleeds, the better for you. Now it appears to be just a harmless animal that you killed for fun."

Yeah, truth. "Just a moment ago, it was breathing and grazing peacefully in the meadow."

"Conscience. It makes you feel guilty, disgusted even," Deckard said, pointing the bloody knife at me. "If this isn't for you, maybe you should join a company. They have people for this kind of job. As a solo, you have to handle it yourself."

"Do I have to be...solo if I have Squad Four?"

He grunted. "No, you don't. You don't have to follow in my footsteps simply because you're my apprentice. For now, you'll be delving into the Labyrinth with your squad, but who knows how it will be after a few months or a year. You won't go down with them every day either. Let's say you leave this job to your squadmates. What will you do when you're here alone? Are you gonna leave the beasts here, or are you gonna drag them across the square every time?"

No, that was why I stood here and watched him skin and butcher my kill. "I get it, okay?" I said, raising my hand to stop him. "I never said I wouldn't do it. I-I just have to tackle it."

"Good, because you're doing the other one," he said, pointing to the dead horned rabbit lying in the grass a few meters away. Even though I found the beast a few hills away, the fight didn't go as smoothly as the previous ones, and somehow I ended up killing it not far from where I took down the one that Deckard was butchering.

Oh, man. The skinning was a blast for my stomach. For a moment, I considered whether to give in to the beast and let my instincts take the reins. Sure as hell, I'd do the whole skinning thing without blinking an eye then. Still, I held off. Why? It was the easy way, the coward's way. So I barfed one more time while skinning the beast but did the job and, under Deckard's guidance, carved out the most valued meat of the horned rabbit.