To All The Girls I've Loved Before (Newjeans x Fem!Reader)

13

!TW! mentions of overdose, depression, pills. !TW!

3rd person's pov:

Minji got Y/n questioning. Should she just reject them all? Should she try to talk to them all? 2 of them already confessed to like her too.

This should make her feel happy but instead she feels burdened.

"It was better when I was just a normal girl with her friends, why did I even bother getting involved with girls after my ex..." Y/n kept mumbling on the way home.

When she opened the door of the block of flats, she tiredly walked up the stairs.

"Ugh why do we not have a frickin elevator?" She sighed.

"I was asking that too when I moved here." A voice said outside of her door.

"Dani? What are you doing outside?" Y/n asked concerned.

Danielle was just sitting on the stairs.

"I was waiting for you actually..." She replied and got up with a heavy breath.

"Are you okay? You seem exhausted." Y/n said and titled her head to Danielle's angle.

"Imnotokaybutitdoesntmatternow" Danielle quickly replied when Y/n touched her shoulder to comfort her.

Y/n was caught by surprise to say at least by the sudden mood swing.

"What?" She asked in between nervousness and a chuckle.

"I'm okay." Danielle replied.

"No you're not. Come inside, right now." Y/n said and grabbed her hand to get her.

She wasn't fine. Y/n knew she wasn't fine. Danielle is the definition of sunshine, she can't handle seeing her sunshine like that.

As Chaerin said, Y/n first saw Danielle and then the real sun, but she prefers Danielle anyway.

"Sit, do you need anything? Wait, let me bring you some water." Y/n said and quickly run towards the kitchen before returning to the living room with 2 glasses of water.

"Are your parents not here?" Danielle asked as she looked around.

It wasn't the first time Danielle was in Y/n's house. The families were friends and had dinner together multiple times.

"No, dad is working double shift today and mom is gonna be home in approximately 3 hours." Y/n replied and sat next to Danielle after taking a look at her clock.

She still had to explain everything that her mom saw and heard.

"So... You know we're alone. Tell me what's bothering you." Y/n looked at Danielle comfortingly.

Y/n's pov:

"Honestly... Many things... Y/n I- I'm afraid." She started and I nodded my head as a sign for her to keep going.

"I'm afraid that things are going downhill again." She continued and breathed deeply.

That moment, Y/n knew she was about to cry.

"I don't have many close friends here but I trust you a lot Y/n, can I trust you with this?" Danielle asked her with teary eyes.

She was trying not to blink not to let the tears fall.

"You can tell me anything. You know it." Y/n said and kneeled down. Then she sat on the ground, in front of Danielle's knees and held her hands that were playing nervously with her phone case.

"My sister... Back in Australia... She had an overdose episode a year ago. The doctor said it was depression. She's the opposite of me. Introverted, never talk to anyone, her close friends are a bunch of shitty people and that caused her depression." She stopped talking for a moment to wipe her tears and that's when I got up.

"Damn... Come here, I can't bear seeing this face crying." I said and pulled her into a hug. She immediately melted in the hug and got the courage to continue talking.

"After this episode, she kept reassuring me she was okay. She continued therapy but the physiologist advised her to stop getting these pills. I asked her countless times she really did stop them even after I kept watching the signs. Just because I tried to trust her and not turn her into a more depressive person." She took a deep breath and cried, she cried hard.

I turned her head a bit to my level and wiped her tears. She's too beautiful to be crying.

"She didn't stop the pills. She overdosed again. I learned about it a while ago. My parents are already on the plane to Australia, they just didn't wanna tell me in person so they wrote a letter. It was outside of the door."

"Y/n, I'm a shitty person. I let her be even when I knew that she was troubled because I was afraid. If only I wasn't a fucking prick she would be okay now." She sobbed. At this point her tears had dried into my T-shirt but it really didn't matter at all.

"Dani... You're not a shitty person... You did exactly what a person would do under these circumstances. You cared, it's not like you stopped caring. She just decided to stay back and she's in another country. You did what any person would." I stated and comfortingly rubbed small circles in her back.

"You know, someone with the mind of a depressed person feels the need to stay alone and feel Independent. That's what she did. She asked you to trust her. It's not your fault. It's not hers either! Her mind is just all around the place." I said and I could feel her slowly calming down.

"Please, don't call yourself things you're not. My heart aches so much about how negatively you speak about yourself. It's okay to feel like that but it wasn't your fault. Stop burdening your head with these thoughts." I finished my words.

We stayed in silence for a while, just there. Me holding her and comforting her.

"Would you feel better if I stayed with you until your parents are back?" I asked. I truly wanted to help her out. Be there for her in this difficult situation.

"You don't have to... Just the thought of you being here for me is enough to make me feel better." She mumbled and tightened her grip on me.

"Okay... Whatever is comfortable for you... Just know that you're not alone." I said and run my hand through her hair.

Then she put her head on my chest and felt my heartbeat. I could feel her closing her eyes before replying "I know."

Author: imagine from trying to make an innocent talk to this :/ (also y/n green flag era???)