Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 25

Taehyung didn't know how to feel. He was beyond excited that Clara was going to live with him, even if only for a few weeks. But at the same time he felt incredibly guilty that she was only doing so because she was so overwhelmed by being in BTS's circle. But he decided the best thing he could do was enjoy the positive elements. His being positive might make Clara happier, and honestly there wasn't much else he could do.

Not surprisingly the guys had been totally open to Clara staying with him. Although he seriously doubted any of them would have even considered saying no, considering Namjoon had already said yes. But beside that, all the guys really liked Clara, and she was the least likely to create any drama.

They got back to the dorm quite late, and Taehyung knew it was nearing time to tuck Clara into bed for the night. He gently led her into his bedroom, unpacked all her clothes into a few dresser drawers, and settled her work computer onto his desk. Handing her a warm pair of pajamas he pointed her toward the bathroom to wash up for bed.

By the time Taehyung had finished washing up, she was snuggled deep under the covers and taking up most of the middle of the bed. He crawled in as close as possible, grabbed her to pull her close and whispered "if you are going to take the middle of the bed, you better be ready for company."

Clara giggled in response but didn't bother to move over. She hadn't seen Taehyung for the last three weeks, and she was craving his affection almost as much as he wanted to lose himself touching her.

Clara pretended to fight for space for a few minutes, quietly laughing the whole time. Enjoying her laughter and large smile, Taehyung permitted her to occasionally gain an advantage during their wrestling. Allowing her to sit on his abdomen while straddling his sides he held her close. But even before she could fully relax he had flipped her onto her back and was caging her in under his arms. Going to gently tickle her cheeks with his hair, she ran her fingers through his locks to spoil his plan. While Taehyung loved seeing her so playful, he knew that he needed to stop before he became too excited. So with each move Taehyung started drawing closer and closer, eventually crushing her under his weight, ending any possibility she had to fight back.

Staring into his chocolate brown eyes, she felt herself fully relax. She really did feel safe and comfortable with Tae next to her. And he seemed to instinctively know that she'd feel more comfortable fully hidden by the blankets by him. For the first time in weeks she was really at ease.

Taehyung would have been glad to spend his night kissing her and gently exploring her body as far as she felt comfortable. But he remembered both her exhaustion and his commitment to care for her needs first. Rolling onto his side and whispering into her ear he invited her to sleep and to use him as her personal teddy bear. Clara released one last giggle, burying her face into his chest, before she finally settled herself next to him, wiggling to make sure she was as close as possible. It was only a few minutes later when Taehyung heard her breathing even out as she drifted off to some much needed sleep.

Before he fell asleep Taehyung allowed himself to daydream for a bit. He loved daydreaming, it was a guilty pleasure and allowed him to go to places where everything turned out just like he wanted. In his daydreams he could control the world around him, instead of feeling like it controlled him.

With Clara snuggled close in his arm he imagined a real future together. She would marry him. They would have lots of children. He envisioned handsome little boys that had his smile, and beautiful girls that had Clara's eyes. He would play with the older children, while Clara would nurture and snuggle close to a quietly sleeping baby. His parents would embrace and love her. She would become close to his members' wives, and their children would play together. He envisioned going on a vacation just with her to a private tropical beach or to a warm cabin surrounded by snow where she would be his only distraction. Away from the constant pressure to be perfect. Away from endless schedules dictated by someone else.

Taehyung always knew what he wanted, but it felt so hard to make it happen. At the end of the day, what he wanted was something money couldn't purchase or ensure. But even so, he was going to do what he could to see as much of that dream come true as possible.

He allowed himself one last daydream wish before falling asleep. He hoped that Clara sleeping next to him wouldn't end after a week or two. He hoped he might convince her to stay with him more often, even after she had fully regained her confidence. He was ready to take the next step in their relationship and hoped that she was too.