Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 1

It was raining that day in Seoul which matched the somber mood in the air. Clara stood rigidly next to her fiance's parents, brother, and sister at the funeral hall, wondering how things had come to this. Everything had been perfect, perhaps too perfect. She had experienced all of the happiness of the relationship in a blazing flame of early joy and now it had burned out.

The only thing she knew for sure was that her dear fiance was now dead and it was time to figure out what to do next.

They met in New York. Namsoo was finishing medical school and she was beginning her career in finance. They ran into each other at an art exhibit one day and started talking. Like many stories a friendship bloomed, and then love. They began to plan a life together, eventually deciding to marry.

It was important to him to return to Korea for his medical residency.  He wanted to be closer to his family and the country he grew up in and loved. Clara knowledge of Korea was limited to what he had shared, a few quick visits to see his family, and small bits of Korean television and music. Even though she was normally very cautious, she was excited to share this new adventure with her fiance. He was her rock and she knew that if they were together he would take care of everything, including her. She had met his family and adored them and his parents had embraced her as their own.

Clara's parents had already passed away.  As an only child she had nothing holding her to the United States anymore beyond a job and citizenship. When her job agreed to let her work remotely and even offered to sponsor a visa to attach to their Korea office it felt like all the signs were clear that they should pack up and leave their small apartment in New York and head to Seoul.

They found a place they loved and were still settling in and buying the dishes when catastrophe struck. She'll never forget how she was measuring wall space at the apartment when his mother called, frantic and shouting at Clara that she needed to urgently head to the hospital. By the time she arrived he was already gone. He had been riding his bicycle home from the hospital when he was struck by a car. She always felt anxious about riding a bicycle in city traffic, but he loved that bicycle so much he insisted on taking it everywhere no matter the weather. And that was the abrupt end to the fairy tale.

Now all that could be done was stand next to his family and accept the condolences of strangers while trying to figure out what was next.

Clara started to hear the murmurs and growing hum of interest even before they arrived. Namsoo's identical twin brother Namjoon was part of a popular band and the media followed the bandmates everywhere. The six others slowly made their way into the funeral hall surrounded by security and managers, joining the security that was already there on Namjoon's behalf.

Namjoon had been a steady presence throughout the funeral hall visits. His years of idol training taught him how to control his emotions and tears and show a perfect face to the public. But when his six bandmates, or members as he called them, came into the room he immediately began weeping, crouching down low to hold his teary face in his hands while gulping for breath. It was gut wrenching and Clara suddenly realized how much his emotional stability was holding up her own. Tears began to stream down her face as she put a hand on his back, rubbing gently.

For Clara being with Namjoon was a special joy and torture. Every look showed the mirror image of her dead fiance's face. Namjoon was undoubtedly trendier, but everything about them was so alike. Their interests, intelligence, voices, and even the beautiful dimples. They had grown up as the closest of friends and confidants and Clara felt a special connection with Namjoon even though they had really spent very little time together. Seeing him crumble was like seeing her own finance crumble, doubling the heartache.

His members quickly surrounded him, providing him with strong hugs, whispered words of encouragement, and pats on the back. He collapsed in one of the member's arms but Clara didn't really care enough to figure out who. She was simply trying to hold herself together as all of the emotions came crashing in and she reflected back on everything that had been gained and then lost in the last three years.