Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 17

Taehyung was no idiot, he knew if he didn't get Namjoon's blessing before he went to see Clara he'd be in a world of trouble. So as soon as they got back from dinner, while he still felt buoyed by Yoongi's words of encouragement, he set out to find him.

Taehyung found Namjoon working in his studio.

"Hyung, can we talk for a minute?"

"About what? If you are going to tell me another excuse for what happened, I'm really not interested."

"No Hyung, I really want to make this right with Clara. I will take care of my parents and make sure they understand that Clara and I are now a package deal and I'm really serious about her. I will make them understand that they can't have a relationship with me without accepting Clara."

Namjoon looked unconvinced. "Really? You know they aren't going to accept that easily. And honestly, if they are just tolerating Clara that isn't enough. She deserves better than that."

"I know Hyung, I'll do whatever it takes. I promise I'm going to fix this and make it right. I don't care what I have to do, I just know that I have to get Clara back."

"Well, then I guess I wish you good luck. But know this Tae. I love you like a brother, but when it comes to you and Clara, I'm always going to be on her side. And if you end up hurting her again I will make sure you never get another chance."

"I know. And I'm glad she has you to protect her. She should be protected from everything bad in this world, and I'm happy to have you by my side to make that happen."

Taehyung continued, "Now I need to talk to her. Do you know if she is back in Seoul? I'm afraid if I text her to ask she won't respond, or worse will refuse to see me. I really want to just go in person."

After thinking for a few moments, Namjoon replied. "She is still at my parents apartment in Ilsan. Honestly she's been pretty upset and besides working remotely has mostly returned to hiding in her room. It's pretty similar to how she was when she was first adjusting to Namsoo's passing. I think you are right to be concerned that she might not want to see you. You've got a lot of repair work to do. But I will help you out a little. I'll tell her that you are coming and let her know that I think she should at least talk to you. But if she says she never wants to see you again, I need you to respect that.

Namjoon continued, "Also, I'd expect my parents won't be too excited to see you on their doorstep either. They view Clara as their daughter. While they were initially excited to see you together, at this point I think they believe Clara may be better without you in her life. And it isn't just that your parents treated her badly, but it has been over three weeks and you haven't come to fix it yet. Honestly it isn't really a good look Taehyung-ah."

"I know Hyung, but I think if I can see her we can get past this. If you will please just ask her to see me, I know I can do the rest."

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Taehyung had never been so glad that it was a bit of a drive to Namjoon's parents' apartment. He needed to not only convince Clara to take him back, but he needed Namjoon's parents to let him in the door.

Almost too soon he found himself at their apartment building. Namjoon had loaned Taehyung his elevator key so he could avoid standing out in public. So the next barrier he had to get past was the closed apartment door in front of him. He was excited to think of resolving things with Clara, but terrified by the idea that he might not succeed. One step at a time, he drew his hand up to the door and gave a knock.

When Namjoon's father opened the door, Taehyung nearly withered under his glare. But he stepped aside to let him at least cross the threshold. Mr. Kim understood that he couldn't leave Taehyung out in public. Taehyung slipped off his shoes, and as soon as he got to the living room he did the only thing he could think of. He fell on his knees and begged for forgiveness. Staring at the floor he launched into a full apology, admitting everything he had done wrong and promising to do better if only he was given a chance. His lengthy confession was met with a long pause. Finally looking up he saw Namjoon's father slightly nod in assent. The message was crystal clear. He had a long way to go to regain their trust, but they would let him see Clara.

He quickly got up and scurried down the hallway, looking forward to seeing his perfect girlfriend after several weeks apart. Or at least he hoped she would still be his girlfriend after they talked tonight.

Lightly knocking he gently pushed the door open and peeked inside. He was met by Clara's eyes as she peered over the book she was reading while propped up against the pillow on her bed. He had hardly stepped into the room when tears began to flow down her rosy cheeks. He knew he was the cause, and it was a stab to his heart.

Quickly crossing the distance, he swept her into his arms, drawn by an uncontrollable need to provide comfort, even if he hadn't yet had the opportunity to ask for forgiveness. He was relieved when he felt her begin to relax into his chest. He chanted out a repeating refrain, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault, please forgive me, I'm going to fix this, I missed you so much, I love you, please don't leave me." Gently rubbing her back while he kissed the top of her head, he lightly rocked back and forth, attempting to soothe her hurting heart.

For her part, Clara clutched his shirt in her fists. She was terrified to re-engage in a relationship that seemed doomed to fail, but equally afraid he might disappear again. She had made it through the last few weeks, but after being reminded of his warm arms, beautiful voice, and comfort, she couldn't imagine how she would survive being parted again.

After nearly 30 minutes of simply holding her close, Taehyung heard Clara begin to quiet. Her breathing began to even out and she melted further into his hold. As he pulled back to look at her, he was surprised to discover she had drifted off to sleep. His poor sweet girl must be exhausted after the emotions of the last few weeks and today. And while he still felt terrible at being the cause, he preened a bit knowing that he could also bring enough comfort to see her rest peacefully in his arms.

He gently laid her back on her pillows, making sure the covers were tucked up tight to keep her warm. He continued to lightly stroke her rosy cheeks, needing to keep contact with her for his own sanity. He quietly hummed to her, caressing her hair and tucking it behind her ears. While her face was puffy from crying, she still looked beautiful in his eyes. At that moment he made a promise to both of them that he would become the man she needed, and spend his life focused on keeping her by his side.