Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 42

Clara had hoped to tell him that night. She knew he would be home late but she took a nap, prepared to stay up so they could celebrate together. She made one of his favorite strawberry desserts and imagined his excitement.

When Taehyung finally arrived home even later than expected he found Clara sound asleep on the couch. Cooing over how cute she looked, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to bed, snuggling in next to her after washing up.

During the night Clara woke up and discovered she was under her covers enveloped in the arms of her gorgeous husband while he lightly snored. She was feeling a bit disappointed that she missed her chance to tell him, but decided she'd surprise him in the morning.

By the time she woke up again he was already gone, leaving her a note apologizing for not seeing her, and assuring her of his love.

Clara knew one thing for sure. She wanted to tell Taehyung in person, so she decided she'd wait for that night. But by mid-afternoon she'd gotten a call from Taehyung apologizing for the last minute notice and telling her that he was called for re-shooting on his drama so he wouldn't be home that night.

Clara scowled in frustration. While she understood the constraints of Taehyung's schedule, this was distinctly inconvenient timing. She was nearly giddy with excitement to share the news but promised herself that Taehyung alone would be the first to know. So she was stuck with the weight of her secret for another day.

One day turned into three and she was becoming quite cross. She even went so far as to snap at Namjoon's mother, but then immediately called back in tears apologizing for her transgression. For her part Mrs. Kim was deeply confused. Since the wedding Clara had uniformly been the happiest she had ever seen. This felt like a rather confusing turn. She gently prodded Clara to make sure everything was still well in her relationship with Taehyung. Clara barely could squeak out an assurance that it was before she fully burst into soul wracking sob.

Finally off the phone Clara went to get a glass of water while trying to calm herself down. In her mind she knew that everything was fine but her emotions felt totally out of control. She really needed to see Taehyung and tell him the news, hoping that the relief of no longer holding this secret would allow her to return to feeling more normal.

She had hardly fully calmed herself when she received a concerned call from Taehyung. "Hey Clara, what is going on? Mr. Kim just sent me a text saying you were crying on a call with your mom."

This only furthered Clara's frustration. Now she not only had to hold this huge secret but she also needed to come up with a good excuse for her earlier tantrum. "Taehyung, please leave it alone. I'm just tired. When are you coming home?"

"Tonight sweetheart. It might be a bit late but I promise I'll be there tonight."

"Ok, see you then," Clara replied in a clipped manner and then disconnected the call, trying to avoid the temptation of either telling him on the phone, or more likely bursting into another round of tears.

On his side Taehyung was confused, but also concerned. Clara seemed almost...angry? She was always so gentle and sweet even when his schedule was much more difficult. This was very out of character. He spent the afternoon feeling anxious, trying to figure out in his own mind what was wrong and how he could fix it.

Taehyung did arrive home that evening. He had convinced the driver to speed a bit so he could get to Clara as quickly as possible.

Entering the apartment he saw Clara watching tv in the living room. Slipping off his shoes he quickly made his way to her. Based on their phone call he knew she was upset with him, so he decided to start by apologizing. Sitting next to her he grasped her in a hug. "Clara I'm so sorry I've been gone and haven't seen you for a few days. I hope you aren't too upset. I hope you know that I love you. Please tell me what I did so I can fix it." He scooped her into a hug hoping to assure her of his affections.

Clara was taken off guard by his early arrival. While she was happy to see him she needed a bit of space so she could finally tell him the news and get the weight of her secret off her chest. Pushing him away she scooted back. "No Tae, that's not it. Just listen for a minute please."

She saw the look of anxiety on Taehyung's face which just further upset her, knowing he was getting the wrong impression. Nothing was going right with what was supposed to be a special happy moment. She was so anxious to share the news, and so upset by Taehyung's reaction, and so tired, and so glad to have him home. She didn't know where to start so she burst into tears, her emotions getting the better of her.

"No baby girl, please don't cry. I promise I'll be better. I'm sorry."

Clara continued to cry into her hands. She needed to calm down so she could talk. She pushed herself closer to Taehyung, moved to straddle his legs, and buried her face in his neck, hoping to give herself a moment of comfort to help her calm down.

"Sweetheart," Taehyung gently murmured, "you are starting to scare me. Can you please tell me what is wrong?"

"I'm pregnant." Clara whispered into his neck.

Taehyung thought he wasn't hearing right. Was Clara upset about being pregnant? He thought they both agreed to start trying right away. He didn't quite know how to react. He was overwhelmed with joy at the news, but struck by how much it suddenly seemed like Clara didn't want this. Unable to figure out what to say he simply rubbed her back and shushed her.

Clara eventually calmed. "Did you hear what I said Tae? I'm pregnant."

"Yes I heard you, my beautiful girl. I know you are upset, but we'll get through this together ok?"

Clara was immediately confused. Tae thought...she was upset?

"No. No Tae," she pulled back so she could see him better. "I'm sorry I'm just a mess. I was so excited to tell you, but I'm terrible at keeping secrets and I hated feeling like I wasn't being honest with you. And you made me keep it a secret for three full days! And I think pregnancy is already messing with my hormones. I feel totally emotional and I've started crying even when I have no reason. Yesterday I started to tear up because I was remembering an animation I watched Iike three years ago!"

"Now I'm just upset because I was so excited to tell you and I didn't even say what I wanted to say, I just blurted it out! And I look like a mess. Look, I'm not even wearing matching socks! And how can I ever be a good mother if I can't even dress myself? Her voice was increasing with each sentence until he saw her lip begin to quiver as she prepared to start crying again.

"Oh Clara." Taehyung pulled her close, trying not to laugh at her crazy rambling but not really succeeding.

"Are you laughing at me now? How is this even funny to you?" she glared while slapping his chest.

"Clara, my love, I'm sorry for laughing, really". Taehyung apologized, trying to look contrite but immediately bursting into another fit of laughter at the inanity of the whole situation.

Clara harrumphed and crossing her arms refused to hug Taehyung further. But he still pulled her close, rubbing her back and rocking her side to side.

After several moments they both had calmed and were ready to try again. Clara started first. "I'm sorry for earlier. Honestly my emotions really are a mess. But I'm so glad you are here. Taehyung I really am pregnant and I hope you are as excited as I am. I can't wait to have a little baby that we can love together."

Taehyung kissed the side of her head and reassured her, "This is the best gift you could ever give me. I'm so happy right now. And I'm sorry to make you keep such a big secret. I'm sure that must have been difficult. But I have to tell you the truth Clara, you really are kind of funny tonight."

Taehyung stood up from the couch taking Clara with him. Her legs remained wrapped around his waist, arms tangled around his neck. "Come on baby girl. Let me take you to the bedroom where I can show you exactly how happy and excited I am."