Don't let go - Emily Prentiss & y/n

It's my turn to take care of you.

TW: Mention of fresh self-harm and eating disorders. Please don't read if you think it'll trigger you, and please take care of your lovely selves x

The rest of the evening was a blur. You don't remember you and Emily getting out of the bath, you don't know how you got into fresh clothes, or even how your arm ended up bandaged up. The next thing you remembered was waking up on your back with Emily's arm around you in bed.

You stared up at the ceiling, gradually making more details out as your eyes adjusted to the darkness. Emily lifted herself up next to you to try and catch your attention.

'Y/n?' Emily said, so softly it could barely be heard. You felt her lean away from you. She clicked the lamp on your bedside table on and the room filled with light. You squinted a little as Emily pulled herself back towards you. You turned your head towards Emily and noticed immediately that she'd been crying.

'Emily?' You said, your voice barely a whisper.

'Hey, you.' She said, reaching her free hand up to stroke your cheek. Tears started to fall down her face without effort.

Don't cry.

'What time is it?' You asked, swallowing harshly as your throat stung from dehydration.

'It's 2:30 in the morning sweetheart.' You didn't react. You were trying to piece together what happened between the shower and now, your mind coming up blank. Emily went to start talking, and then stopped herself.

'What is it?' You asked. Emily looked at you nervously.

'Do you...' she paused, picking her words carefully, 'are you ready to talk yet?' She asked. You weren't, but you couldn't stand to see Emily cry anymore over you, and you were hoping a conversation about last night might reveal how you got here.

'Yeah... we can talk.' You replied. Emily responded by sitting up a little in bed, bringing her arm out from under you. She shook it a little afterwards, as if it had gone numb. You placed your arms on either side of you to lift yourself up, feeling a familiar sting in one of them. You ignored it and let Emily help you up on the bed. Once you were sat up facing Emily, you noticed how nervous she seemed.

'So... what happened last night...' she started. You cut her off.

'I'm sorry.' You said sadly, and you really were. There was something about Emily's whole demeanour that made it seem like she was wounded from last night, too.

'What were you trying to do?' She asked softly, adjusting her position on the bed to distract from the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. You could tell she didn't want you to feel guilty for the way she was feeling, but nothing she could do could stop that. You looked down at your crossed legs.

'I just wanted it to stop.' You admitted.

'You wanted what to stop sweetheart?' Emily asked.

Everything.

'Just the urges, you know.' You looked up at her, seeing her eyebrows furrow slightly. 'The urges to cut again.' You clarified, dulling down your intentions.

'That was all?' Emily checked. She had a suspicion there was more to it.

'Yeah...' you looked back down, hoping the lack of eye contact wasn't your tell, '...I just thought if I did it one more time, maybe I'd be able go a while without doing it again.' You weren't completely lying. The urges were getting so frequent, it was starting to feel inevitable that you'd become addicted to it once you did cut again. But last night, you weren't just trying to do it the once so you could go back to being clean. You were hoping to do enough damage this time that there wouldn't need to be another time.