Don't let go - Emily Prentiss & y/n

How we were before all that.

TW: mentions eating disorders, self harm and suicide. Please don't read if you think it'll trigger you, and please reach out to someone if you're struggling.

Let me know how you're finding the book so far!

Enjoy x

You walked straight back into the room with the rest of the team, adamant you weren't about to have a conversation with Emily.

I must be so NEEDY that she thinks I can't even be alone for one night on a case.

Emily joined the group not long after, clearly keeping her eye on you in an attempt to get your attention. You ignored her.

Part-way through the conversation between the team, Hotch got a call to say the DNA sample from the victim's body that didn't match hers had come back from the lab.

'Morgan, Prentiss, gear up. You're coming with me to this guy's house. Rossi, Reid, take his work. JJ and Y/l/n you'll stay here for now. We'll let you know if we need anymore backup.' Hotch ordered.

Everyone started heading out. Emily shuffled awkwardly for a minute, wanting more than anything to say something to you before she left, but she knew it wasn't possible with everyone around. Once she'd given in and left, it just left you, Hotch and JJ. Hotch pulled you to the side, out of JJ's earshot.

'Will you please take this time to get something to eat? I've heard your stomach rumble more times than I've heard you speak today...' he observed, taking you by surprise, '...and to be quite frank, you look a little peaky.' He said, so seriously it almost made you forget it was a little insulting.

'Yeah, of course. Sorry, I've been feeling a little sick so I didn't fancy anything earlier.' You lied. 'I'll go and grab something now.' Hotch nodded, clearly pleased with your response.

'Okay, good. When you're finished, join JJ in transmitting any relevant information about this guy to us in the field.' He ordered.

'Yes, sir.' You obliged, nodding. Hotch left immediately afterwards. You watched as the remainder of the police department rushed to gather together themselves and head out with your team. When the chaos calmed down, you told JJ you were headed to get something to eat.

Being back on a case after a few days had distracted you from your hunger well, but you couldn't deny you were feeling a little weak.

Maybe I'm a little more irritable than usual, too.

Despite your potential overreaction, you were still frustrated with Emily. It was hard enough trying to start back at work and pretend to everyone that everything was okay, without Emily reminding you every second she gets just how needy you are.

That fucking word.

You headed to the PD's cafeteria. Pasta, pizza, paninis and sandwiches filled the surface behind the hut. You smiled politely at the gentleman stood behind it wearing a kitchen uniform and turned instead to the standing fridge.

You grabbed a low-fat yoghurt and a banana and took it to the table in the corner of the room.

Even though you found that quite often, this time included, you picked up your disordered eating habits purposefully when other aspects of your life felt out of control, there were some symptoms of it that always joined them even when it was more than you bargained for. It seemed that whenever you were more conscious of what you were putting in your body, you always believed other people were paying more attention to your eating habits, too.

Eating anything that wasn't healthy, sometimes even anything at all, didn't only feel like failure to you, but it felt like everyone was looking at you as if you were failing as well.