Dominic Raab galumphed through the corridors at parliament, passing minister's offices as he clutched a can of Coca Cola in his clinically sweaty palms.
"Bit early for that Michael!" He shouted cheerfully, watching Gove snort a line of coke off a report on mould in social housing.
"It's 11am, I'm an hour late!" He shouted back, then laughed maniacally.
Dom shook his head affectionately, walking onwards, where he was passed by Suella Braverman and Penny Mordaunt (who looked like she was being held hostage).
"There's our favourite bully boy!" Suella shouted, and Dom did finger guns in response. He was cool and he knew it.
"Hey leaky Sue!" He replied, and Penny shook her head at him with wide eyes.
"Just excuse me a moment." She told Suella gently, and went over to Dom. "We're not meant to say that anymore, Dom." She said seriously.
"Why?"
"Suella is, well, how do I put this delicately? She's feeling a bit insecure about the menopause at the moment, so the 'leaky' nickname didn't really help." Dom's hand clenched into a fist at the mention of the word 'menopause'.
"Oh! God, that's terrible." He squirmed. "Well, what do we call her now?"
"We're still trying to settle on something." Penny sighed, genuinely exhausted. "MLK is our top choice though."
"That's a good one, Splash!" He laughed. "Well, I'll keep it in mind. Thanks again."
Still laughing to himself, he rounded the corner to the Prime Minister's Office where he found his beau agonising over papers.
"For you." Dom said, placing the now malformed can of coke onto his desk.
"You shouldn't have!" Rishi simpered, pouring its contents into his Chewbacca sippy cup.
"You look stressed. What's going on?" Dom asked thoughtfully, taking a seat.
"Oh, well, it's just the state of the country at the moment. People are really struggling." He said, and Dom nodded solemnly. "I mean, a group of people you're supposed to trust, whose sole purpose is public service, have chosen to serve their own interests instead, to the point where it results in actual casualties. It's truly awful. That's why we need to stop them striking. These nurses have caused enough harm."
"Tell me about it Dishy." Dom agreed, clearly troubled. "I got a letter the other day from a disabled single mother on benefits who said the government wasn't doing enough because she had to miss meals. It really shows you how deep the problem runs. These Marxist-Leninist agitators like Mick Lynch are emboldening such people to think they deserve better."
"God. The world has turned upside down." Rishi cried, putting his head in his hands, and Dom placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
YOU ARE READING
rishi sunak x dominic raab
Romancewith his lover in the depths of a bullying scandal, and his ex-boyfriend out to get him, Rishi fights to balance the governance of a broken nation with his own personal turmoil. satire! (ps if anyone is here from the liz x priti era this is unseriou...
