The Diaz Brothers

Amendments-- chapter 27

Wes got to the house around twenty minutes from when he said he was on his way. I got up and let him in and he hugged me. "Hey kid. I've missed you." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "I've missed you too Wes!" He kissed my cheek and I led him to the living room. "I spent a lot of time at the hospital when you were there. You probably don't know but I did. I visited you almost every day..." I frowned. "I'm so sorry. I... Hate that all of you spent so much of your time worrying about me. I told them it was going to happen but they didn't listen. Ry and I had an issue earlier today because my depression got ahold of me." He frowned. "I'm sorry. What kind of issue did you have with Ryan?" "Uhh... I made him lock up and break down... I think it made him a little mad afterward because after he broke down he hasn't said much to me..." He looked confused. "Ryan? Mad at you? No way. What did you say?" I looked at him solemnly. "I said that I should've never woke up. It was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't really mean it but it's how I felt at the moment. I was just feeling like I was ruining everyone's lives and to be completely honest I still do but that isn't the point... And it just kinda happened to actually come out of my mouth. But if you tell Ryan I think he's mad at me I will hurt you. Because while he can clearly see that I'm upset he still doesn't know why and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want him making himself not be mad at me just because he feels bad." He nodded along and I frowned. "It sounds like you've had a bit of a tough day huh?" I nodded and he sat on the couch with me. "Anyways... What have you been up to?" "Oh you know, this and that. You know you're the only person I work with anymore so I was trying to work around with some other fighters while you were out... You know... Just in case... And it was the hardest thing I've done in my life. You're like my sister and even the thought of you not being around to train with me was just awful. I couldn't stand it. I felt bad because this one kid, he only wanted to train with me because I had trained with you and he wanted to know if I could introduce you... He hadn't heard yet. But anyways. He kept going on and on about how he wanted to be able to fight like you and his he wanted to meet someone like you who is not only impossibly beautiful but sweet, caring and not to mention kicks ass. Well I had to tell him that I would introduce you... If you ever woke up. I broke that kids heart. Then I realized just how broken mine was."

I frowned and he watched my expressions. "I'm sorry Wes. I didn't mean for you to be sad. It wasn't my intent at all... Ever. I hate that it happened. For anyone. I just feel so awful about this whole thing. If I hadn't ran by myself it wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't have gone to the bathroom at the arena it wouldn't have been worse. If I had just stayed in the bathroom and waited for there to be someone else in there or texted Ace to come wait for me by the door it wouldn't have happened. If I would have been smart it wouldn't have happened. I fucked up. It was my fault. Nobody else's." He hugged me tight and I got tears in my eyes. "I'm so sorry." He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me again. "Baby where does the-... Are you okay?" Jer asked and I shook my head. "I still feel awful and I feel really awful about the way I snapped at you like that. I just wish I could get something right again. I did like a whole five things right in my life. Everything else I've ever did was either wrong or stupid. I hate the way I am and the way I act and the way I feel. I hate myself. I just want to be happy with my family. I just woke up from two months is it that much to ask?" He grinned and nodded. "I got it. Yo Carlos! Call Guppy! Get DaySean in this mother! We all know Gup can cheer Baby up!" I half grinned. Carlos yelled back an okay and about twenty minutes DaySean walked in the door and walked over to me immediately. "Hey lil mama I know you bout to get up and say hi to ya Guppy!" I smiled involuntarily and stood up. He hugged me around my waist and picked me up. "I can't believe that stuck forever. I called you Guppy when I was two and DaySean was too much and you bought me a fish... Even though Ray killed it..." He grinned proudly. "Guppy is better anyways! How you feelin' baby?" "Like shit... But Carlos says that'll go away. The main thing is that I hate hating myself but I do and it won't go away. And I guess that's why they called you... Cause 'Guppy can always cheer Baby up so let's bother him and take him away from what he's doing and make him come deal with her because we hate to see her feel bad. Let's make other people waste their time on her too.' I'm sorry Guppy." He frowned and kissed my forehead. "Don't be sorry baby you ain't bothering me. Look at my face, do I look like I'm bothered to you? Nah baby I'm smilin' know why? Cause I get to see you and you're okay. You're not laying in a hospital bed maybe getting better but probably getting worse. You're here and you're talking and you're happy to see me. I love being here. I was planning on coming over tomorrow cause I wanted to give you more time to rest but they called and said you were upset so I came over here to make you happy. Now what do I gotta do to make that happen? I kissed your forehead cause you like forehead kisses, I called you baby cause that's what you like to be called, I bear hugged you and picked you up cause that makes you feel safe, I called myself your Guppy cause that's what makes you happy and I don't know what to do. I even called you lil mama cause it was gonna make you smile... Help me help you." "Really I just need sleep... I think it's because I feel sick and everybody's spending so much time worrying about me and Ryan is mad at me... But he doesn't know I know. And I don't want him to..." He nodded. "Well how bout you and baby daddy go take a nap with little bear and we'll get all this cleaned up and when you wake up we'll play some Hold 'Em or something?" I looked at the clock which said it was 2100 hours. "But... I don't want you guys waiting up if I don't wake up till morning... What if yall all stay here tonight and we can all play tomorrow or something? To be honest... I don't remember how to play Hold 'Em or any of that... That's another thing. I hate not being able to remember anything. Someone came over yesterday but I couldn't tell you who it was to save my life. And the only reason I remember why Ry is mad at me is because it's burned in my mind for now. Cause it's upsetting." He frowned and hugged me again. "That's a great idea baby. I'll sleep in the recliner. Wes can have the spare room and whoever else can take the couch." Ryan walked around the corner. "Hey baby where do you keep your knife block?" I looked at him for a long time before I was able to actually answer the question. "It goes in the bread hood by the oven." He nodded. "Okay." He went back around the corner and Guppy said he'd be right back. I knew exactly what he was going to do as soon as he walked toward the kitchen but I still hoped I was wrong and he would just tell Ace I was ready for bed and that he and Wes were sleeping over.