depressed m reader x comfort characters one shots.

five- can't say i understand.

Today my dysphoria is really bad.. i haven't gone out of my house in a few days because i just don't feel like getting misgendered. I mean, i try my best to be seen as a boy but people still think I'm a girl. What am I doing wrong?! I mean, i wear my binder, i cut my hair, i wear more masculine clothes.. why isn't it enough?
My boyfriend five told me to call him if it ever got really bad and i thought about doing something bad.. i don't want to worry him though.
I look over at my reflection and hate what i see. Tears form in my eyes as i lay back down on my bed. I begin to have a panick attack. My breathing gets messy, my hands start shaking and a thousand bad thoughts come to my mind.
I look at my drawer where i hide my knifes and just think to myself.. what if i just cut myself once? I've been a week clean i deserve it. Five would be so upset though.. i can't put him through that.
I decide to call him like i said i would because i promised him i would if i ever got bad again.
"Hey, love." Five says in the other side of the phonecall.
"Hey five.." i say with a shaky voice.
"You okay? You sound upset."
"I'm fine.. it's not that big of a deal I'm just having a panic attack and i decided to call you to try and calm down."
"Oh.. ok, I'll be right there alright? Thank you for calling me. Just promise you won't hurt yourself while I'm not there."
"I promise."
"Ok, I'll be there in a few minutes, i love you."
"I love you too."
I wait for him for a minute or two and then hear a knock at my door.
I get up and unlock it, letting five walk in.
"Hey love, it's ok I'm here." He says.
We sit down at my couch.
"You didn't have to come over i didn't want to bother you.."
"Don't worry about that ok? What happened? What triggered you?"
"I don't know.. my dysphoria has been a bitch lately."
"Oh, i can't say i completely understand where you're coming from because I'm not trans but just by what i know i can tell having to go through that is difficult. Not being able to feel like yourself in your own skin.. for what it's worth i think you are the most handsome most amazing guy in the world. I seriously can't imagine my life without you and know that I'm here for you ok?"
"Thank you love.. i love you."
"I love you too."
We spend a while longer there talking a bit untill i calm down then we decide to watch a movie and cuddle.